Page 96 of Collateral Damage

DESSERT

Puppet

Play – ‘Look After You – The Fray’

“Hayden this is crazy!” I grip the wheel of her battered old truck in absolute hysterics, belly laughing as she tries to show me the ropes but I'm definitely not getting the hang of this.

“You've got this! Just listen!” I know she has a death wish but this is ridiculous! I know I said I wanted to drive a car but this isn't exactly what I pictured. This is a shit box.“Is my shitty old truck not good enough for you?” It’s like she read my mind and her mischievous grin only makes me laugh harder, trying to concentrate on her instructions but it's hard to when she's looming over me, being all intelligent and hot.

“No! No it's lovely!”

“ConcentratePuppet. Foot all the way down on the clutch, then into first gear.” I'm panicking with too much adrenaline, giggling like an idiot.

“I can't! I can't- I can't do it!”

“Yes you can!” She sniggers at my predicament and I’m about ready to jump out of this truck but she has me as I claw playfully at her to let me out, restraining me with her palm to my chest. “Alora Blackthorne. I didn't train a quitter. You put your bloody foot down right now.”

I pout, trying to seduce her into letting me out but she's not falling for it. Giving up I slowly look down at my feet.

“Wait, which one is the clutch again?” She glares at me with heavy judgement, rubbing the bridge of her nose as she leans against the frame of the open door and my chest tightens, staring entirely too long at her muscles.“I think I can tick this off my bucket list.”

She scowls at me, gripping the back of the seat as I laugh into her chest but she can’t contain her smile that makes my heart ache. It’s my favourite feature on her desolate face. It brings out her smile lines that give me butterflies. How can someone so deadly possess a smile so beautiful. The contrast leaves me breathless as I gaze up at her through my lashes.

“You've not even got it started yet!” Maybe driving is not for me. Not that I could drive anyway but I'm clearly a pussy and we are both clearly not cut out for teacher and student.

“Maybe youuuuuu should stick to the driving.” I hiccup nervously, grinning at her as she shakes her head in disappointment, peering over towards the passenger seat when my entire bloodstream turns the cold tap, glaring at an apparition of myself as that day decides to make an uninvited visit, wrapping around my neck like a snake until I'm starved of oxygen.

“What's a pretty little thing like you doing all the way out here?”

His words cut through me replacing them with tears as I stare into a black hole, unaware of my surroundings, now completely and entirely alone like the ground has swallowed me whole, unable to speak or move. I feel his pressure on me, weighing me down until I'm gagging for air. Sitting in the driver's seat of her truck has completely evacuated from my mind as I now feel him inside me. Sitting right here with me.

“Alora?”

A hand grips my shoulder and immediately I shriek, yelping for help as his face stares back at me and all I can do is scream, scream until he gets off me as I thrash against his hold that left bruises against my skin for days.

“Hey!Babyit's me! It's me! I'm right herebaby, look! Look at me!” My vision becomes clearer and her face reappears, gawking back at me with nothing but pure fright as she grips my arms with so much strength they may break, cupping my chin with haste as she finds me in this sea I'm lost in, calling for me to swim back to shore.

“You see me? I'm right hereBaby girl. No one's going to hurt you, ok? You feel that?” She places my hand against her heart, clawing at my cheek with the other as she kisses my forehead with gentle violence, pulling me into her chest, securing me to regulate my breathing. “Like we practised, ok? In and out with me. Breathe for me. Calmly. Slow it right down.”

My sudden wave of security unfolds into floods of tears as she holds me there, squeezing me with just enough force for me to let it all out into her white tee. Soaking it with embarrassment.

“Don't ever leave me again.” I cannot contain my fear or my pain and my words come out a blubbery mess. He's buried his nails deeply inside my marrow and I need to learn to overcome this new monster taking up residence in my head. My Nightmare has become my hero and I'm entirely ok with that.

She wipes my tears, cradling my puffy cheeks and I kiss her slowly. To remind myself I'm right here with her. Grounding me to find safety.

“I'm not going anywhere.” Words cannot explain the comfort I find in her tongue. My own personal sanctuary I would never leave if she gave me the chance. An intimate connection that's touched every inch of my body and worshipped every part of me I loathed.

She pulls away, pulling my lip down with her thumb and I can see how much patience she possesses. How desperately she wants to ruin me but she won't until I tell her to and it only makes me want it more. I want her to possess me until she fights all my scary monsters away.

“But…” She lets out a prolonged ‘U’before she pops the ‘T’like whatever she is about to say is going to disappoint me.

“I do need to go and drop something off.” I let out a deep sigh, smiling at her terrible timing.

“I won't be long, I promise. Are you going to be ok? You have Shep to keep you company.” She pecks my forehead, playing with my chocolate hair between her fingers and everything inside me wants to ask to go with her but we aren't even close to being at that stage yet. I just hope one day we are.

“I'm ok. Go and do your thing.” My muscles relax as she smiles at me and suddenly I realise my breathing has calmed, along with the world around me.

She pulls me from the seat until I find my feet on the ground, leaning over my tiny body as she pushes my loose waves over my shoulder, running her tongue along the length of my neck.

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