Page 74 of Collateral Damage

She questions me, shaking my head vigorously, searching for answers in me, trembling as her lips graze mine and I choke trying to get the words out. Words I didn’t ever imagine could drip from my tongue.

“Because I need to know what kind of person I amfalling in love with.!...”I mutter softly, closing my eyes like it will hide me from my confession as I weep forus. She squeezes my hair tighter, leaning her forehead against mine like she’s been defeated.

“Don’t… Don’t say that.Alora. You can’t. Do you understand me? You can’t.”It’s too late.I don’t know what love feels like, but I know what I feel for her is far deeper than I can comprehend. Where you would do anything for that person. Where you will find the ounce of good that keeps you holding on. Where no matter how they treat you, you cling to the kindness that is engraved in your heart because you’re terrified to lose them.I’m terrified to lose her.

“Why…?”it slips from my mouth as I try to find the answer behind the guilt so clearly protruding on her face.

“Because I will neverLoveyou back.” My heart sinks, releasing my grip on her shirt, dropping my shoulders with vanquish.

I don’t know what I was expecting. She doesn’t even know the meaning of the word. But if there is nothing between us then what the hell are we doing? I recite her words. Because she is just not ready to let me in. She is too scared to let someone in. To let them help her.

“Then never, I'll wait.”She shakes her head but I will not fight her on this. Her tongue glides against my salty cheek, lapping up my cries against the sensitive flesh she struck. The sting makes me squint but her warmth makes me melt into her hold. Her touch makes all the pain go away.She is fire.You’re drawn to its heat. The way it dances across everything it touches, destroys everything in its path, but you have the urge to touch it. To play with it. To dance with it on a cold night. It’s destructively beautiful and its consequences are ugly, but we still light fires, because they keep our blood pumping and our body warm.There is no beauty without consequence. No happiness without pain. No Love without hate.

Play - ‘Fuck me like you hate me – Jutes’

“You should be terrified of me.” She sinks her teeth into my cheek, pinching it until I hiccup a sharp breath, sliding her fingers between my thighs.

“Is that what you want… For me to be afraid? For me to hate you?…” She takes my bottom lip in her teeth, dragging it with just enough force that I follow her as she pulls and I can feel a puddle between my legs every time she touches me like this.With need.

“It would be easier that way…” That is what she wants to think but life has been easier since she finally let me in. She needs to realise I'm not going anywhere, that I'm ready to see all the broken parts of her and love her anyway.It can’t get much worse than this.

“Thenfuckme like you hate me,Hayden.” Her grip indents my skin sinking into my thigh as she glares at me for a moment, like she’s shocked that those words even came out of my mouth but she can’t resist me and I love it. I love that she can’t function unless she’s inside of me,where she belongs.

“You wanna sit real pretty on my cockPrincess?” Her famine unravels against my soft tongue as she devours my mouth like she’s trying to find something deeper, unzipping her jeans with haste and I will never get used to this. Pulling out her strap before gripping my outer thighs. She lifts me to wrap my legs around her hips and I still flinch as she stretches out my inner thighs with the width of her waist, securing me against the door only holding up my frame with one arm as she plays with my slit, already dripping, ready for her to slide inside me, forcing it in until I whimper into her mouth as I bite down on her lip so hard she growls. Her hold on me is inescapable as she wastes no time fucking me senseless, pounding into me with her jewelled knuckle dusters hot to my neck as I take every inch, choking on the pain she so desperately wants to make me feel. It burns, it burns so hot, but so does this.

“You’re nobody to me.My plaything.”

Her words are spiteful, talking with her teeth clamped shut down my ear. Disrespecting the secrets I'm leant against, fucking me into oblivion. As the door rattles I grip the handle for support accidentally causing it to swing open leaving nothing but us and a dead drop into the basement. I grab the frame of the door to keep me up, panicking as horror paints my faceand she seems totally unphased, grinning at my unfortunate predicament.

“Are you frightened now?…” She tugs at my top, tearing it right down the centre effortlessly as I cling to her with just my legs, letting my breasts free, followed by my pants, ripping them clean off of me with thirst. She squeezes my fleshy thighs as she pounds into me mercilessly, her diamonds glued to my tits as they bounce before her, leaning in to me to take them in her mouth as she pinches them with her teeth, sucking until it bruises me.

“Fu-ck…” My head hangs back, peering into the black void awaiting my arrival, using all my strength to keep me from letting go but it’s getting harder, my mind's blank with only the thought of her between my legs. She’s already fucked me in the darkness. I feel like I'm consuming her demons every time she makes me scream.

“You get off on this fear, don’t youbaby?” Yes.It makes me feel alive.This momentary anchor between life and death. It excites me.“Let go.” I pull my head back up, glaring at her. She’s crazy.Let go of the door?!“Don’t make me ask you again.”

She fucks me agonisingly slowly, feeling her slide against my walls, curving up into my sweet spot were my legs start to quiver. I do as she says, flinching as I gradually let go of the frame where my upper body falls, squinting as I prepare to hit the floor when she cups the back of my neck, squeezing it tightly in the palm of her hand to support me.I knew she wouldn’t let me fall.

“Do you hate me, Puppet?…”

“Yes.” I hate her for all the ways she makes me feel whole. She is three times the size of me so holding me up must be like holding a feather. Her nails dig into my scalp as she claws her fingers into the scruff of my neck, pushing my head forward to make me look down at her sliding into my wet hole as she spits on my chest making me gasp at the sensation, dirtying me withher foul mouth as it drips down the ravine of my breasts sending a chill up my spine.

“Say it.” She loves to be hated. She loves to feel feared. And I do feel all those things, but because once she has her way with me, none of it matters.

“I hate you...” She thrusts harder at her love language. She’s punishing me with her cock, spitting between my legs and I pulsate, taking my fingers to play with my clit like I know she wants me to. I don't realise how close I am, jolting through the pain as this pleasure overtakes me, grinding against her desperately chasing this release between my thighs, crying out until I hit it.

“Say it again.”Her lips part like she’s trying to moan out silently, glaring at her penetrating my hole but god I want to hear it. I want to hear her lie through her moans.

“I hate you!...”

“Desperate fuckingWhore.” She holds me tightly, letting me let go on her cock, twitching as I cling onto that feeling, screaming out her name with wrath and I'm so sore. She’s not fucked me that roughly yet but I knew it was coming.

She tugs me sharply, tasting my tongue as she kisses me and it doesn’t matter how many times we kiss, butterflies batter against my chest.

I will be her plaything if she wants me to.

I will be anything she wants me to be. All she has to do is ask.

C H A P T E R 45

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