Page 50 of Collateral Damage

Three months ago I was nervous to hold a boy's hand and now a killer is kneeling between my legs.You can't make this shit up.

C H A P T E R 29

BEHIND THE MASK

Puppeteer

She's aching. Mourning for my touch. She willingly chose to give her body to me and I will take it like my life depends on it. For months I've pictured the dimples in her back, her centre line framing her petite little body. The way her hair brings out her eyes when it's wet. She's a quivering mess as I lean to meet those gorgeous lips. Inches from my mouth, tempting her with the touch of my breath. She has no idea what she's done. I've rubbed my sins into her pure, novice skin. Drowning in the smell of palpable lust.

I will stop at nothing until my tongue is buried deep inside her but not yet.Not right now. I want to smash my little dolly first, so she has no structure left. No walls. Only pieces for me to build beneath me. She's succumbing to this loneliness we are both trapped in and I have become her stability but I'm too wrapped up in her hair to protest this new found comfort. This dynamic we have. This black without white. It's tangible.

MyInnocence.

Myplaything.

Mine.

She stands with her hands firmly on the wall, and as much as I want to feel her insides, I will stay modest. I run my hands all over her, minding her delicate flowers, claiming this sacredmoment she's given me. Savouring it. And I realise it's only fair I return the favour. A mutual understanding. A stuck in stone symbolism of this raw trust. She's trusting me with her work of art so it's only right that I remove mine. I've hidden my identity for so long, she's been so used to the freak that I am, that exposing it to her may ruin this moment.

I continue to wash her clean, washing her auburn hair, running it through my hands like sand, picturing the night she was on her knees for me but only this time I don't have to imagine her bare body. As she stands before me, enticing me to indulge in her helplessness. Inviting me to handle her most sensitive parts.

I peer down at the floor, watching my second identity run down the drain as my face hits the heavy flow of water above us, rubbing my skin clean revealing my ugliness from beneath it. She hasn't moved, staring at the wall in front of us anticipating my next move.

Play - ‘Halo - Beyonce’

“Close your eyes.” She does as instructed, clamping them shut like her life depends on it.“Turn around…” I guide her with my hands, pulling her to face me, tugging her out from the shower head into my chest. She sucks in a breath being this close to me and this time there are no drugs or heavy traumas involved. It's justus. And she can feeleverything.

I clasp at her hands gently, guiding them up towards my face and place them on either cheek, sucking in my own breath as her light fingers graze my skin. Even under warm water they’re still so cold to the touch. I let them go to give her free rein and at first she hesitates, scared to move but eventually she finds the confidence to trace the structure of my face, lining the bridge of my nose, my jaw, feeling around until she finds my lips like she's trying to memorise it by touch alone. She tugs my bottom lipslightly and I'm solely concentrating on the freckles covering her face and the tiny strand of hair invading her mouth. Her other fingers find the ravine in my gaunt cheek, running her index finger along it softly as her breath quickens alongside mine, squeezing my nails into the palms of my hands, her curiosity digging for a story between the uneven surface of my skin until I can no longer take it, pulling her hands away, cradling them into my chest.

She opens her eyes without consent and I melt into them trying desperately to hide my discomfort, finding solitude in her concerned little gawk, being the one clothed but feeling entirely naked, exposed under her new perception of me. She swallows slowly, but not out of fear. There is pain written all over her pretty face.

“Who did-” my finger swiftly finds her lips, shushing her silent. I am not about to go into this shit. She just needs to take this appearance in. My force presses her against the cold tiles causing her to yelp out letting her mouth hang open and the water running against the pink complexion of her lips is niggling at me to put my mouth on them to shut her up.Don't be ridiculous, Hays.

Does she want to make it anymore obvious that she's horrified by the gouged-out chunk in my face? She's staring at it, observing its features and she looks like she's about to cry.She dares and I will give her a reason to cry.

“We don't talk about it.” She nods calmly, respecting my words. I've already revealed too much, she doesn't need to know that crap too, and we stand in an uncomfortable silence as she studies me with new eyes. I’m feeling the most vulnerable I’ve ever felt and her silence screams a thousand words.

“You're nothing like I pictured.” Her voice is so soft against the water I can barely hear her as I raise my brow, intrigued to know what she envisioned when she pictured the monster beneath themask. I tighten my jaw as she runs slow circular motions against my collarbone.

“What did you picture?” She pauses for a moment, staring into my eyes like a soul snatcher and I still glare inappropriately too long at the colour. It's so unforgettable. Like the first sunset of summer.

“Hideous.”A subtle little smile wiggles its way in before she attempts to get out of the shower, leaving me hanging on her sly confession. It's cute. But she doesn't get to walk away from a comment like that.

My hand pulls at her hair, hugging her closely to me, playing with her ear against my lip.

“You're letting your guard downPrincess. Need I remind you the Devil was once an angel.” She finds me in our waltz, staring into my soul like she's found treasure beneath rubble and ash.

“And the Devil was also misunderstood and cast out for rebelling against God. Lucifer was just afreedom fighter.” My jaw hangs heavy. She's using metaphors to plot out the story of my life. I rebelled against a society and a broken system, which landed me in a cell for trying to do the right thing-

Clever bitch…

“Keep up that smart mouth and I'll give it another use.” You could cut the tension with a knife as I pinch her chin and I can’t keep my eyes off her mouth, clawing at the side of her face like a depraved man, my mouth quivers with this urge to taste her words in my mouth.

“Only because you know I'm right.” My thumb finds her bottom lip in the dim light, staring at Venus in space as it slowly enters her mouth. She doesn’t fight, opening it wider for me and I can't ignore the pulse between my legs as I run it along the crevice of her wet tongue imagining her insides around my fingers, revelling in the sensation, fighting everything inside menot to pin her against this wall and claim every inch of herperfect,untouched little body.

Mine.

She smart mouths me but deep down I love it, purely so I can put her on her ass when she eventually lets me in.

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