Page 40 of Collateral Damage

“Let's find outInnocence.” I don't know what the hell that means but it can’t be good, and that nickname sends chills up my spine, the irony of the word against the actions we commit on one another. Violence is far from innocent, it’s malignant.

The key still sits in its designated hole, the door is still unlocked. She grabs my arm, pulling me away from the door, turning me to face it like a noose as she slowly opens it and for the first time in two months, a breeze cascades beneath my nightgown. My inner voice hums at the sensation. I've not stepped outside since that night and part of me is now intimidated by the idea. She still has a hold of me, so close to my neck I can feel her breathing on it as she groans in a coarse tone.

“You are myPuppet.And I, yourPuppeteer. Your next move will only be determined by my handsLittle Dreamer.If you think you can outsmart me -” A cold silence surrounds me as her lips run the length of my neck until she reaches behind my ear, sending dead spirits to pass through me.

…

“Cut the rope...” A metaphor for the tie we have to one another. She pulls my strings. She has my life in the palm of her hands, orchestrating my every move, every breath I take, every noise I make. Logistically, a puppet is nothing without their puppeteer, but she’s letting me try anyway. Try to move without her.

I glare at the overgrown garden lit up only by the reflection of the moon. It’s dark out and I have nothing to cover me. It’s freezing, but I can’t back out now. I wanted this. I wanted to run. She’s letting me run but what am I running to? What am I running for? I can feel her eyes scolding the back of my head and my heart is beating so loudly I can hear it in my ears.

“I’ll give you a head start.” She lets go and I can hear her boots tap the floor as she backs away from me, giving me space. Allowing that dark cloud over my head to fade so I can think clearly.

Play - ‘OXYTOCIN - Billie Eilish’

I need to run. Now.

I take off, squinting at the chipped stones and uneven ground beneath my feet, I haven’t a clue where I am or where the hell I’m going but there are a cluster of trees surrounding the property. I lunge for the darkness, hiding in amongst them like an animal trying to navigate my way through the pitch black, barely able to see my hands in front of my face. I suddenly fear I may get lost, but why am I worried, that is what I want, to get away fromher.Away from here. But something is telling me that is near on impossible. I could fly to the other side of the world and she’d still manage to find me in a crowd full of people. She’s made sure I am perfectly clear of that. This isn’t me escaping. This is me partaking in her little game, and for some reason,I’m enjoying it.This is quieting my mind, making me figure out how to survive instead of glossing over my imperfect little life.

I have nothing left. What am I really fighting for if not to fall right back into her hands. I think a part of me has now latched onto herkindness. Starving people will do anything. I am starving. Starving foraffection, love, someone to hold me.She held me yesterday when she didn’t need to. She slept beside me when I encompass a picture she should loathe. We are the same words in a different font.

Collateral Damage.

It’s been a few minutes and I stop to take a breather, I must be a good quarter of a mile now? I didn’t hang about. Searching through the trees for some sort of life but there is nothing. She really does live in the middle of nowhere. I'm so out of breath myvision is going fuzzy trying to concentrate on a focus point. I just need to find a road. I listen to the sound of my own heartbeat, staring up at the moonlit sky between the trees and take in the view just in case this goes south. I know it will, but that’s because I secretly want it to.

I knew the mag was empty. That is why I fired it. If there is one thing my father did teach me, it was how to load one up. A father in the force had its perks after all, I just wanted to see how she would react, push her buttons and it worked. She finally snapped.

I get lost in thought, imagining her poor mother and it fuels my motivation to keep running. I need to run that image out of my head but it’s buried deep. I stop once more and I've not seen, nor heard any sign of her. I must have lost her now surely. I lean up against a nearby tree, the bark digging into my exposed skin as I try to tune into the noises around me but all I can hear is the rustling of wind in the trees and the odd owl. It’s so peaceful it’s making me teary. I forgot how beautiful the outside world is, it’s almost overwhelming.

A twig cracks behind me and my heart stops in its tracks, eyes glued to the leaves still moving, jumping out my skin as a small animal jumps out from the bushes, rolling my eyes and calming my nerves.Phew… thank God.My life flashes before my eyes as her distorted face emerges from between the trees, cracking another twig in her wake, hitching my breath as I turn to run the opposite way. Whiplash almost snaps my neck and I yelp out a cry into the empty void as she grabs the ends of my hair bringing me to my knees, cutting open my porcelain skin against the rough bark, peering down her nose at me like her next victim. Her clown makeup is something of nightmare fuel between the trees, dark and desolate with only us to occupy it.

“Now. About that punishmentPuppet.”

…

Shit.

C H A P T E R 24

LITTLE MASOCHIST

Puppeteer

Play - ‘Manipulate - mxze, Clarei’

TheLittle Princesswants to play? No objections here. I’ll show her what sin tastes like. She’s on her knees before me and my god it’s abeautifulsight. She has no idea how deeply I want to break her just for betraying me so carelessly. Does she really think I was going to let her walk away after learning the truth? She clearly doesn’t know me at all. I was temporarily closing my eyes. It’s sweet that she took my vulnerability and tried to use it against me. In fact, I predicted it. She has no idea how much I want to snap her frail little bones until she’s a heap on the floor but now, immobilising myLittle Puppetdoesn’t seem as fun.

“I said I'd give you your freedomLittle Dreamer,but I never said you would be free of me. I will haunt your nightmares and plague your pure little mind until the only thing you long for,IS ME…” She’s trembling under the cold temperatures but I’ll soon warm her little body up. “Get up.” I tug on her locks of hair to give her a nudge. She knows I won't hurt her.Reallyhurt her. But she’s been prodding the lion for far too fucking long and I need tobite.

I walk her to the nearest tree stump, throwing her torso over it like a slab of meat.MYfucking meat. She whines,uncomfortably laying on damp moss, ruining her tight little nightgown.

“Give me your hands.” She does as instructed, cautiously and I place them neatly behind her back, crossing them against the bridge of her spine. I glare at the delightful sight before slowly undoing my buckle, teasing my belt through its hoops until it’s looped up in the palm of my hand, almost salivating at myLittle Innocencebent over before me. She’s already beginning to sweat, beads of moisture glisten underneath the moon, but she keeps quiet which surprises me. I thought by now she’d be screaming for help, too bashful to expose her bare thighs to me. The creases of her perky little ass are teasing my imagination from underneath the seam of the dress, I want so desperately to trace her soft flesh, but I refrain. She doesn’t deserve that level of intimacy. I’m punishing her for trying to escape with words I confided in her. So I'll just beat them back out of her.

She wants to feel. I get it. She forgets I’ve been where she is. That denial stage shuts down your emotions like an off switch. She can’t feel anything,and I can fix that.The tip of my belt runs the length of her inner thigh, taking the dress with it as I drag it to the dimples in her back. I’m aware she probably hasn’t endured any sort of pain through intimacy, or intimacy at all for that matter,so I'll go easy.Tickling the goosebumps smothering her skin before tapping it lightly to give her a clue, her breathing quickens, probably pumped with adrenaline and embarrassment. She doesn’t have to tell me she wants this. I can taste it in the air.

I tap against her skin a little harder, building her tiny tolerance before flicking my wrist lightly with some force behind it. She yelps under her breath, jolting into the tree. I give her thirty seconds or so until I hit her with a2nd. And a 3rd. A 4th. 5th. 6th. Each a little harder than the last. Not at all hard enough to do any damage. But it’s enough for her to awaken thatmasochist resting dormant inside of her, and it’s working. She lets out a few little whimpers of raw ache and my grin is vile.

“You feel thatPuppet?...” I’m referring to both her, chasing a high and that foreign ache between her legs. She lays there mute and I know she’s trying to wind me up. The little bitch knows I can't stand being ignored so I'll make herscreamit out.I kneel slowly, inching my mouth towards her backside, tickling her rosy ass with my lips as I lick them, letting her take in the spoonful of pleasure my mouth has to give as I line her skin with my snake like muscle before sinking my teeth into her sore flesh, drawing out a shriek that scares the wildlife nesting in the trees.

---