Page 61 of Before the Storm

Tara seized. She was on her feet. “Winnie?”

All her animosity melted away in a single instant. She felt enlightened like she’d spent hours laughing on a sun-drenched beach.

“Mom, I can’t believe it’s you,” Winnie said.

Wherever she was, there was the sound of footsteps and a door closing. Tara struggled to picture it. Was Winnie still in North Carolina? Winnie’s Facebook didn’t give much away.

Tara inhaled sharply. She tried to embody the spirit of her own mother when she’d first seen Tara and Josie at the wake—just one day before.

“Honey, I’m sorry it’s been so long,” Tara whispered. “I’m really just so sorry.”

Winnie immediately started crying. Tara hated herself, then. She hated that she’d built a relationship that was just as troubled as hers with Cindy.

“It’s my fault,” Winnie said, hiccuping.

“It’s not your fault!” Tara cried.

“But Mom, I was the one who moved away from Nantucket,” Winnie said.

Tara felt things were getting out of hand already. They needed to back up. They needed to speak about light, pleasant things before they got into the nitty-gritty details of what had happened and why and whether or not they could forgive each other.

“Shh,” Tara said softly, trying to calm her down. “Where are you, honey?”

“I’m in North Carolina,” Winnie said. “Raleigh.”

“Wow. Raleigh is supposed to be beautiful and very cool.”

“It is.” Winnie sounded calmer. “I’ve really loved it. I, um, went to college here.”

Tara felt a spike of pride. “That’s incredible, honey. Did you graduate?”

“I did,” Winnie said. “I majored in English and French literature, but I minored in theater.”

Tara’s heart filled with longing. “You were always a brilliant performer.”

“Ha. I always liked being on stage,” Winnie said. “But I like writing, too. That’s why I majored in literature. I thought maybe I could write my own plays. I don’t know.”

“You can,” Tara said. “You can, and you will.”

It was hard to believe Winnie was all grown up and had a college degree. Tara staggered through the guest bedroom in disbelief. She struggled to remember this wasn’t some kind of dream or nightmare.

“But what about you?” Winnie asked.

“You’ll never believe where I am,” Tara said.

As briefly as she could, Tara explained what had happened—that Josie had called about her cancer, that Josie had wanted them to go to Seattle to make peace with their parents, that Bob had died right before they’d come.

“And now the three of us are probably going to Nantucket to take care of your aunt,” Tara said softly. “She’s pretty set on not continuing treatment. It breaks my heart.”

Tara was suddenly terrified of how transparent she probably seemed to Winnie.She knows I’m only calling because I’ve learned so much about my mother, my father, Josie, and myself. She knows I’m calling because I’m broken.

But weren’t we all broken?

Wasn’t it better to admit that we were?

Winnie cried a little bit harder, but she could still speak. “We have so much to talk about, Mom.”

“Too much for the phone, I think,” Tara said.

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