“I did,” Tara explained. “But the house was always in my sister’s and my name. And I changed my name back to Steiner anyway.”
Johan’s face lit up. Looking at it now brought her back to the age of twenty-one, when Johan had been a mysterious yet trustworthy member of the Nantucket society, always there to lend a hand. Tara remembered he’d been the one she’d entrusted with the Fourth of July Festival when she’d gone into labor with Winnie. He hadn’t written down anything she’d told him, which had infuriated her at the time. But he’d managed the Fourth of July Festival without a single incident.
Josie crept in from the living room with a big smile on her face. “Johan!”
If Josie’s sick state surprised Johan, he didn’t let it show. “Josie, my goodness. It’s good to see you.”
“You too,” Josie said. “You know, Tara was about to make us some mulled wine. Weren’t you, Tara?”
Tara raised her eyebrows. She had no plans to do that. She didn’t want Josie to drink any alcohol. But Josie gave her a look that meantoffer the man a mulled wine! So she nodded.
“That sounds wonderful,” Johan said. “But I don’t want to intrude. I guess I already have, though.” He laughed and pulled his backpack off his shoulders. “I have with me a traditional Swedish Christmas dessert. I hope you’ll let me share.”
Josie and Johan sat at the kitchen table while Tara heated some mulled wine and peppered Johan with questions about the past fifteen-plus years of his life. It was mesmerizing to have him back. Even Josie looked brighter with him around. Maybe she was pretending so he wouldn’t worry, but perhaps she was just as thrilled to step into the past as Tara was.
“Now, where on earth have you been all these years, Johan?” Tara asked.
Johan laughed. “That’s a great question. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long. But it must have been sixteen or so years ago when I met Hannah, and we moved out to California.”
“California!” Josie cried.
“San Jose,” he said.
“I’ve heard it’s beautiful out there,” Tara said.
“It is. But it’s a different way of life. Hannah and I both worked really hard to afford our home, and even then, it was a struggle.”
“Are you just back for a visit?” Tara asked.
Johan shook his head. “Hannah and I got divorced about eight months ago. I was still living in San Jose, but I realized I’d never fallen in love with it like I did with Nantucket. I canceled my lease and came back out here just last week.”
“Just in time for winter? You’re crazy!” Tara said.
Josie chuckled. “But you’re just in time for the Christmas Festival.”
Johan snapped his fingers. “I was thinking about that festival and all the snow and how the ocean looks when the storm clouds come through. It made me so homesick. It’s strange, you know, because I was raised in Sweden and didn’t move to the UStill I was nineteen. But something about Nantucket feels oddly Swedish to me.”
“Why didn’t you want to go back to Sweden?” Josie asked.
Johan thought for a moment. It gave Tara time to put a mug of mulled wine in front of him and study his sturdy and handsome jawline and the bright blue glint of his eyes. Had she ever noticed how handsome he was?
“I’m forty-nine years old,” Johan said finally. “Which means I’ve lived in the US for thirty years. Going back to Sweden would probably make me feel like an immigrant all over again. Maybe I don’t fully fit here, but I wouldn’t fit there, either.”
“You’re displaced,” Josie said quietly.
Johan raised his mug of mulled wine. “Maybe. But I don’t feel displaced right now.”
So as not to raise suspicion about Josie’s condition, Tara had made a mug of mulled wine for her sister, too. Josie even picked it up a few times and blew the steam from the top. But Johan either didn’t notice or decided not to ask why she wasn’t drinking it. Little red dots at the top of his cheeks made him look extra jolly.
“I’m sorry about your divorce,” Tara said after a pause. “That’s tough.”
“Mine was easier than most, I think,” Johan said. “We realized we weren’t in love anymore, and that was that. But we’d put ourselves through a lot. We tried to have a baby for many years. We did every treatment. IVF, you name it. We even talked about adoption.”
“That’s a lot of pressure on a couple,” Josie said.
Johan nodded gravely. “Last I heard, Hannah was going to try to open a foster home. She has a big heart and a lot of love to give. I really respect her and her mission.”
Tara’s heart swelled. It was rare to meet a man who still honored and loved his ex-wife. But the past was always thepast. You couldn’t change it. You couldn’t rewrite it. Yet Johan seemed to understand how to hold the past in his arms and let its warmth flow through him.