Page 96 of At Her Will

“Bethany, my other sister, asked me why I couldn’t just pretend. Act one way around my parents and then just live my life the way I wanted when I got out on my own. When I met you, saw you in the church that first time, for one terrible minute, I thought about walking out, because I was sure I was setting myself up for it again.”

His arms tightened around her. “Glad you didn’t.”

“Me too. It felt like there were more things connecting us than separating us. That the things we’re different about don’t have to become a virus that infects the rest. That maybe it can all be part of the whole.”

“The whole what?”

She paused. “The whole way we love one another.”

“Did you just say you in love with me?”

He said it with humor, but when she looked up, his expression was far more intense. “Yes, I did,” she said. “And if you don’t feel the same way, I will smother you with a pillow. Even Nurse Amy won’t be able to save you.”

He stroked her cheek. “It was so easy to fall in love with you, I afraid it was too easy. That it wasn’t real. Or I was being like one of the boys at school, all caught up in a pretty face and a nice backside. Or front side.”

“Really?”

He swept her with a meaningful look. “Difficult to overlook those things on you, Mistress. You’s been blessed by the Lord in many ways. But I know what lust feels like, and I a grown man, knowing the difference. Nothing ever felt so real to me. And falling in love is easy, but loving, staying in love, usually isn’t. With you…I feel like every day it will be the easiest thing I do, loving you. So, I don’t want you to worry about that.”

“I don’t plan on being so easy to get along with all the time.”

“I didn’t say you was easy to get along with. I said you was easy to love.” He caught her hand as she threw a mock punch at his shoulder—though a very light and careful one—and held onto it. “Teena Joy used to say I got a stubborn streak when I think things need to go a certain way. So maybe we balance one another.”

“Maybe we do.”

His certainty filled her with something she had stopped believing in, though she hadn’t stopped looking for it. Acknowledging the dichotomy in that, she let him hold her hand in his bigger one, reassure her with that strength and his own certainty.

Which was when she realized why she was still feeling so anxious.

She was going to believe in his love, let herself fall as deep into it, explore every room of it, as she wanted. She was going to be all in.

She didn’t doubt his love. Or even her own feelings. No, she thought of him walking up to a boy holding a gun, to an angry bull. Chasing a criminal into the woods.

It wouldn’t be his love that was taken from her. It would be him.

But when she found the man she wanted to keep, she’d always promised herself, no matter what baggage she had, she’d give her heart, all of herself, to him. And she’d cherish whatever the Fates had given her, no matter for how long.

Ros and Lawrence, Skye and Tiger, Cyn and Mick; when they’d met, all three men had held dangerous jobs. Neil still did. Active SEALs had a harrowing mortality and debilitating injury rate. A truth that wasn’t easy on Abby, especially with her own challenges as a paranoid schizophrenic.

But they’d decided it was worth it. Probably because they felt the way she did now. No matter what Fate had planned, she wanted to lie here and just be with Rev. Hold his hand, talk to him, tease one another.

Tomorrow would take care of itself, and they’d handle it when it got here. For now, he needed her, as much as she needed him. They’d take care of each other.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Two weeks later, Rev joined her for a volunteer day at Laurel Grove. During her visits, Vera helped guests with legal advice, aid paperwork, job applications—whatever her skillset could offer them.

They all did their part. Cyn gave self-defense classes, and Skye taught computers. Ros offered general business principles and tips on acing job interviews, while for Abby it was accounting and bookkeeping. Learning employable skills and care for themselves built confidence in people who’d had it stripped from them, or never had it before.

The men helped, too. Tiger worked on vehicles, and fixed up old beaters to expand transportation options. Lawrence coached the kids on sports. When Neil and Mick were in town they came, too, doing maintenance, and interacting with the kids to prove real men weren’t cruel and mean.

Though Vera showed Rev the rules for volunteers, she knew he wouldn’t need much guidance. His church did charity work for NOLA’s homeless shelters and associated agencies. But the main reason he didn’t need much direction was simple. He was Rev.

She turned him over to the day manager, and went to the small room set up with folding table and chairs to meet with her scheduled appointments.

As she finished the last one, Skye appeared in the doorway. “Come see this,” she signed.

Vera followed her friend through the big rambling house to a communal living space. Rev was sitting on a stool far too small for him, but made it look comfortable, his feet braced and hands resting loosely on his spread and bent knees. A child stood on the outside of either knee, listening attentively to him.

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