Page 68 of At Her Will

Witford frowned. “A lot of our parishioners wouldn’t see it that way. But putting that aside, she’s taking your focus away from here. That affects your faith. It affects your care for your family. Tisha thinks you’re making a mistake, and it’s upsetting her. This woman turned her back on her family because of her beliefs. And family is the heart of faith.”

Witford had done some deep digging on his Mistress, maybe getting some of the answers that Rev himself wanted more details about. But he wanted those to come from Veracity, when she was ready to reveal them. Witford’s disrespect of her privacy didn’t please Rev. “Her family turned their back on her becauseof their beliefs, not hers. You good with words, Witford, but I know music. There are no wrong chords when I’m with her.”

Witford’s jaw tightened. “A man can be led from below the waist, Rev. Even one as tapped into the Lord as you are. Satan’s always watching. The way she likes to enjoy men…”

Rev’s expression stopped Witford. Rev waited a beat to reinforce it before speaking. “I holding my temper because you’re having the conversation you should have done with me first, but we’re not talking about that. Understand?”

“No. I don’t. The way she enjoys men is unnatural, and she’s enjoyed a lot of them. If you go down that road?—”

“I have gone down that road with her, Witford.” Rev met Witford’s startled look. Had he let his temper say something he shouldn’t have said? If so, he would draw that line here and now, but he’d make his feelings on it clear. “There’s nothing unnatural about it. Just the opposite. But discussing that is done. I mean it in a way I hope you’re hearing. It between her and me. When she comes here, I expect you to treat her the way you would anyone else. If you can’t be warm to her, you’ll be courteous.”

“Or what, Rev? You threatening to leave us?”

Astonishment filled Rev. “What put that fool thought in your head?”

“You’re part of the backbone of this church, Rev, and I’m seeing the possibility of a cancer. Do you respect me? Value my opinion?”

“Course I do.”

“Then hear me. She may be a fine person, no matter if I don’t agree with her beliefs or what she does in her bedroom. But those things make her wrong for you. She is too much part of the world outside, Rev.”

“That not for you to judge, Witford.”

“I’m a preacher. A spiritual leader for our community.” Witford drew himself up. “I pray just as much as you do, and youhave a blind spot. I feel it the way Tisha does. What this woman is will change you, break you down.”

“Our Lord breaks us down to build us back up new, square in His ways and light. It make sense that there are people in our life He uses to do that.”

“Do you really think a pagan into BDSM is God’s instrument? Do you hear how that sounds?” Witford stabbed the pulpit with a finger. “There’s a special power to you, in your voice, in your heart, strong and pure. You’re smart enough to know it, no matter how humble you are about it. And it is susceptible to corruption.

“You said you’ve gone down roads with this woman, with the way she wants things.” At Rev’s warning look, he held up a hand. “I’m not getting into that. But I know enough about it to ask you this question. Surrender is important to you. How easy would it be to confuse submission to God with?—”

“Witford.”

When he used that tone at Veracity’s offices, it had startled her people. But it came to him the way the music did, when needed. The one-word warning settled uneasily between him and his cousin, a blanket on a slumbering beast with plenty of teeth. Rev thought of Veracity, standing over him, ordering him to put his mouth upon her, and how those moments made him feel.

He wasn’t confused. Not about that.

“All right.” Witford pressed his lips together. “But let me say this and I’ll be done. Sex feels like something divine, sacred, and it is, in the natural expression of it between man and wife. But its power to make us feel closer to God can be used by the Adversary, a mask of his intent. Just think about it, Rev. You’re worrying me, hurting Tisha, spending more time away from the church. No, you’re not neglecting your duties, but you used tospend most of your free time here. Now you’re not. So what do you think that means? Where do you think it leads?”

As Rev stayed silent, his cousin’s words pelting him like stones, Witford lifted his Bible and stepped back from the pulpit. “Bid this woman good-bye, and put her behind you. Will you promise to think about it?”

Rev met his gaze. “I promise to pray about this.”

“That’s all I ask.” Witford clasped Rev’s shoulder. The fingers digging into his shoulder communicated his feelings on the subject. “I’m your cousin. I want you to be happy, and I want what’s best for you.” His mouth tightened. “It hurts me to say it, because I know you care about her, but I can promise you, she’s not it. Whatever you need, it’s here, in these walls, with your family and this congregation.”

When Rev had left Veracity after their bus ride, things hadn’t been right between them, but she’d given him the space he needed. Witford had just dumped garbage into it.

Last night, Rev had gotten off the bus at the school and gone to the shed. He liked the way the moonlight reflected on the trees, and seeing the animals that ventured out of the woods behind the fence after dark. He’d sat on the bench and traced those four words, smooth and silky as Veracity’s skin, because he’d touched them as often as he wanted to touch her.

Since he didn’t make a promise lightly, now he went out to the garden and sat. He didn’t feel like praying. That sent up alarm flags, so he tried to set aside his gut level rejection of Witford’s words and think about the path he’d insisted upon for Rev’s benefit. Walking away from Veracity Morgan and what she offered him.

Rev had only been in love twice in his life. Both times had been short. Once when he was twelve, and once when he was twenty, with the young woman he’d told Veracity about. She’d been accepted to a college a couple states over, so they’d only had the summer after she graduated high school to be together. Teena Joy hadn’t interfered, but in hindsight Rev knew his aunt had known it would only last for those two months. Michelle wasn’t interested in a long-distance relationship, especially when she got around college friends and a life so much different from the one Rev led…and so much different from Rev.

It had hurt, a lot. Teena Joy had told him that love could be that way. “But God knows what he’s doing, Rev. She wasn’t the right person for forever. She just helped you learn more about love so when that right person comes along, you’ll be ready for her.”

“How will I know?”

“She’ll be right with God, too, and you’ll feel that. And when you look in her eyes, and she looks in yours, you’ll see one another, and nothing will tell you different, no matter how anyone tries. Just like your love for God.”

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