He huffed once, the sound almost amusement. “Faith said you’d be pissed if I quit without telling you.”
“You were going to quit without telling me?”
“I’m mildly annoyed that Faith was right.” He tried for a self-deprecating laugh but it sounded strained.
“She was.” Tara took a moment, sorting through her thoughts. “I assume you informed her it would be professionally awkward and generally inappropriate for us to scene?”
“I should have phrased it that way.” He frowned in thought.
“What did you say?”
“I said you were my best friend.”
Tara’s heart swelled as she looked at the man she’d known half her life. There had been periods when they weren’t close, work and life meaning they only saw one another at conferences, exchanging a few emails in the times in between, but time and again they found one another.
“We should get a drink.” She felt like she needed a drink, which was rare for her.
His relieved exhale made her smile. “Yes. Let’s. I said meet here because I wanted privacy, but I could use a drink.” Nathan stepped up beside her and she turned to head back the way she’d come. Nathan’s hand pressed gently against the small of her back as they started walking.
Tara blinked in surprise at the touch. Nathan always held doors open for her—a gentlemanly habit that had nothing to do with her specifically. Usually, he ended up holding the door for dozens of people in his silent, polite way.
In twenty years, he’d never put a hand on her back to guide her.
Tara must have stiffened as she walked by his side through the courtyard, because after a dozen steps, Nathan cursed and dropped his hand.
“Sorry. Habit.”
It wasn’t his habit in the outside vanilla world. That meant it was his habit here.
If she wanted to extrapolate further, it was one of his Dom habits.
Meaning, that for a moment, he’d treated her the way he would a sub.
Tara looked at him from the corner of her eye, studying his face in the moonlight. She’d never seen him by moonlight. On the occasions they were outside after dark, they were usually in a large city and his face was lit by streetlamps, not the moon.
The library—which held no books on its shelves but rather a collection of antique sex toys—also housed the bar and a good amount of seating. It was crowded tonight, which made sense, given that every member was here.
“Your usual?” Nathan asked.
She hesitated, but one drink would be okay. She nodded. “I’ll find us seats.”
They’d had this exact conversation a dozen times over the years.
“I’ll get the drinks. Your usual?”
“Yes. I’ll find us seats.”
Usually, it took place in a crowded hotel bar during a conference. They divided duties logically—his size allowed him to push through crowds and belly up to the bar easier than she could, and Tara had no problem asking people for spare chairs or making them shift around to create space.
Though the library was crowded, she didn’t have to resort to seating negotiations, snagging a two-seater couch not far from the door. The large armchair to the right of the couch was currently occupied by a Dom, his sub kneeling on a cushion by his feet as they conversed quietly.
What if Nathan walked over here and ordered her to kneel in front of him?
Tara’s stomach muscles tightened, and she breathed through it.
Objectively, she was very aware that Nathan was good-looking, if not exactly handsome in the traditional sense. His sharp intelligence and quick smile were incredibly attractive. At least to her. Not that she was actively attracted to him. It was more that she was aware what his best features and qualities were.
Once… Once she’d had a massive crush on him, but that was back in college. She hadn’t dated at all in high school, too focused on getting the grades necessary to make it to college. Nathan had been a revelation of sorts—a little awkward back then but able to easily make friends and navigate any social interaction. Smart but not competitive when it came to intelligence. Good-looking but not arrogant.