Page 46 of Shielded Secrets

And I had to follow Irina’s advice—to let love in. I couldn’t be sure whether thiswaslove. I’d never been in love before to know, but this soul-deep, all-consuming need to be near him and wanting him to be happy couldn’t be a silly little crush. The way we clicked and just worked together as a couple had to be a sign that we were doing something significant here, not just screwing around for the hell of it.

“Can we go talk to Oleg?” I asked when I worried he’d fallen asleep again.

His arm tightened around me a little bit. He was awake. “What?”

“I know he told me to think about it, to consider whether I would like to help out the family by spying at the admin office. Well, tomorrow is the first day after spring break that I’m supposed to be there. My time to think about it and consider it is up.”

Moving quickly, he slid back so he was still on his side but I was flat on my back. Looking up at his very awake face and seeing the seriousness in his eyes, I smiled to keep him unworried.

“No.”

I scoffed. “No?”

He shook his head. “No. I really don’t like this idea.”

“What idea? Going to talk to him? He’s waiting for an answer.” And now I felt kind of crummy to have waited this long and kept him stalled. I was sure whatever I’d do wouldn’t be some earth-shattering, expert spy work, but I bet Oleg Baranov wasn’t used to people telling himno.

“No, I don’t like this idea of your talking to him and telling him your decision.”

I blinked up at him.

“I don’t like the idea of you potentially putting yourself in danger for the family.”

“You don’t even know what I was planning to tell him!”

He furrowed his brow. “What were you going to tell him?”

“Iamgoing to tell him that I’ll do it.”

He cringed. “No, Kelly. Please don’t. I don’t—” He exhaled a hard breath. “Are you saying you want to help because you feel like you have to?”

I shook my head.

“Are you saying you want to help because you are afraid that’s the only way you’ll still be under the Baranovs’ protection?”

“I’m saying I want to help. I want to do my part—any part—in helping you and your family members be as safe as possible.”

“I appreciate that, but?—”

“No buts, Rurik. I decided. And I’ve decided to help because I care for you too much to let this hang between us for any longer.”

He looked down at me for a long moment. I couldn’t read him then. I wasn’t able to decipher what was going through his head.

At last, he nodded once and sighed. “All right. If that’s what you want to do, then that’s what you’ll do.”

He gave in too quickly for me to really believe he was okay with this plan. But it was obvious he would respect my wishes and let me make my choices. I’d been so obsessed with not losing my independence, and he just showed me how he would let memake decisions. He would stand by them, even when they went against what he thought was the right thing to do.

What have I ever done to deserve you?

We got up, and instead of a lazy, playful morning that would end with sex, we got ready to head out. I put on one of my new outfits while he was in the bathroom preparing to leave with me.

Once we were both presentable, he drove us to the Baranov mansion.

Neither of us said a single word. We could enjoy companionable silence with each other. We didn’t have to fill every moment with noise or chatter. He didn’t push me past my comfort zone in any way, and that included when I was more introverted and withdrawn. Not because I was drawing away from him but because I’d had a long day. And I appreciated that he would let us have this quiet now, like the calm before the storm.

When he reached for my hand after we arrived and he parked, I felt my spirits lift a little higher. He would stand by me. This wouldn’t be my last and biggest practice of learning what it meant to let it all go, to let love or the hint of it to set me free.

Oleg was just finishing with breakfast when we entered the mansion. “Oh, damn. You just missed her.” He craned to look past us. “Eva just headed to the gym, Kelly.”

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