Page 36 of Shielded Secrets

“So you’re saying I’m not a one-night stand?” I teased.

He growled, kissing me soundly. “No.”

“Then what do you see?” I asked. “What do you want with me?” This sort of question would’ve made more sense before I slept with him. When “normal” people dated, they’d get a preliminary feel for what the other was looking for—if they were on the market for casual hookups, dating, or seriously hunting for a partner to marry and start a family. I hadn’t been on the market for any of that. Only with Rurik did I let myself fantasize about trying to trust a man enough to let him into my life.

“Are you asking if I want to marry you?”

I laughed once, incredulously. “Marry?”

He smiled, seeming amused by my reaction. “Well, all those bridal magazines and wedding planners put it on my mind.”

“Rurik.” I licked my lips. “I gave my V-card to you last night. I’ve never dated anyone. No hookups. Not a single boyfriend.”

He growled his appreciation, kissing me. “I like that.”

“You like that I’ve hadnoexperience in dating or romance or anything like that?”

“Yeah. I could be your first and last.” He kissed me deeper. “All mine, Kel. You could be all mine.”

While he was jumping way,wayahead of himself, I couldn’t lie and say I was intimidated by what he said. He’d already shown me how far he’d go to keep me safe. Last night, he proved how skilled he was at bringing me pleasure.

What more is there to question?

“You’re moving at light speed here,” I teased.

“Then tell me to stop. Tell me to slow down.” He caressed my hip, stroking his thumb back and forth slowly.

I bit my lower lip and shook my head. “Would you?” I asked.

He exhaled a long breath and kissed my forehead. “Kelly, I’m so fucking crazy about you that I’ll do anything to make you happy.”

I cupped his face and kissed him in reply. “I don’t want to,” I whispered. “I don’t want you to stop thinking about a forever with me. I don’t want you to slow down and act like you need to tread carefully with me. It’s just so much to take in at once.Yesterday, I figured I’d be alone until I died. Today, I’m trying to adjust to the possibility that it doesn’t have to be true anymore.”

He cuddled against me. “Why would you be alone forever?”

“Because I’d never be able to trust anyone and let them in.”

“You let me in.”

“Is that a lewd joke?”

He chuckled. “You let me into your life. You trusted me to protect you.”

I smiled. “I did. I do. Part of why I was so attracted to you before when you were there to be a backup bodyguard for Eva was because of your position. That you were in a protective job, but not a man of authority.”

His brow furrowed. “Do you not trust figures of authority?”

No. Not since I had an interaction with Officer O’Malley…

Instead of revealing that dark nugget of my past, I turned that back on him. “Do you?”

He huffed. “No member of any Mafia organization will admit to liking the cops or Feds.”

“Then we have that in common.” When he still seemed overly curious and about to ask something else, I hurried to keep talking. “I asked you what you saw with me, what kind of future you’d want with me.” I cleared my throat. “But I’ve never even let myself think that far ahead.”

“Then do it now.” He moved until he hovered over me. “Dream with me, Kel.”

I smiled and closed my eyes as he kissed up my neck, licking and sucking lightly. “Wanna get married someday?”

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