Page 31 of Shielded Secrets

“Yes, and if more criminals in another Family are mad at any of the Baranovs for any of the crimes they’ve committed, we are all walking targets by association.”

Irina studied me. “What is it, then? You want to be independent and have no association with anyone else’s wrongdoings?”

“Partly.” That was actually a huge part of it. “I had to be independent like that. In the system, I learned very early that I had to be my own agent. No one would look out for me but me. And that went for whom I tried to befriend as well.”

“Okay, but also on that note,” Eva said, “didn’t you also lack anyone who’d want to look out for you?”

Irina nodded. “Yeah. Wasn’t everyone fending for themselves? A survivalist mentality?”

“They were. Are.” It wasn’t hard to agree with that. But that was a gross generalization they couldn’t ever fully understand. “I just…” I sighed. “It’s just a lot to consider.”

“I imagine it is,” Eva said. “I notice this sort ofwhoamoment when new recruits are brought in to be trained as soldiers.”

“It’s asking me to trust you all, and that’s a big step I don’t take easily.”

“You trusted me,” Eva reminded me.

“Yes,” I said.Within reason.

Her jaw dropped. “Wait a minute. Is that why you stopped answering my texts and calls after the semester? You got so distant from me.”

I shrugged. “It was part of the reason. I didn’t want to be seen as someone close to a Mafia family. Labels are important to me.” A bigger part of the reason I’d wanted distance from her was because it hurt my heart to “lose” her to Lev. Eva had been the first real friend I’d ever made, and when she and Lev got together, she was distracted by the newness of their relationship. I didn’t hold it against her as a grudge, but I recognized how she was pulling away from me, too.

“But, like I mentioned already,” Irina said, “why would it be so bad to be in this family? You do realize there’s no way they’re just going to let you walk out of here. Not with all you know.”

Eva swatted her with her pillow. “That’s not true, Irina. Uncle Oleg would let her go. She’s not a hostage here and she won’t be forced into anything.”

Irina shrugged, opening her mouth to argue with Eva, but I held my hands up and acted like a referee between them. “I get what you’re saying. Both about why I should want the luxury and safety that comes with being here and also the fact that no one would entrust me with family secrets out there. I get that.”

Both women watched me closely.

“And I don’t think Icouldwalk away.”

“Is that a yes, that you’ll help spy, then?” Irina asked.

Eva swatted her again with her pillow. “Stop being pushy.”

“Well, it’s not like it’s a big deal. Spying isn’t that strenuous. And it’s for the greater good. The more intel you can share with the people you care about, the better you can have their backs.”

“Did your dad really make you spy for him?” I asked her.

“Yes, all so he could try to be the most powerful Mafia leader in the area.”

“Yet you’re engaged to become a Baranov?” I wasn’t sure why I was letting myself get sidetracked to ask her about how she’d gotten here. Her replies wouldn’t be a resource for me to compare to. Her decisions wouldn’t be on the same level as any that I would make.

“Yes,” she answered again. “Because my father was a sadist and only cared for himself. He abused and manipulated my brother to ensure I’d do as he asked. It wasn’t until Vik and Oleg steppedup that I could know and trust my younger brother would be cared for and healthy again.”

“You chose to stand with the Baranovs,” I concluded.

She nodded, smiling proudly.

“I would choose to stand with Rurik,” I said, not blushing with this honesty. “That’s what I mean when I say I don’t think I could walk away.” After glancing at Eva, I cleared my throat and hoped to explain without sounding crazy. “I know Rurik and I didn’t have many chances to talk to each other or really get to know each other when he was on campus to help Lev with your security, but it was the start of his being in my life at a distance.”

Eva nodded, smiling more. “Yeah. And you were around him a lot. I guess you can’t say you hung out with him much personally, but I saw how you two became acquainted.”

“So when you left and didn’t come back, when I no longer saw him here and there, I… missed him.”

“You missed him because it meant I wasn’t there?” Eva teased.

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