Page 61 of Starting Over

“Oh come on, I’m sure a few of them are in their thirties. I can’t imagine the fire chief is that young.” I grinned at the angry look on his face.

I knew he didn’t want me here. But I also knew he wanted me. I had seen him watching me. Saw how his eyes traveled over my body.

“Reenie,” he growled.

Turning away from him, I tried to contain the shiver that worked its way through me. I wanted to believe he was jealous, but I knew he wanted me gone. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Why are you here?”

Dropping my head back and looking at the ceiling, I growled, “Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

“Because people who grow up in Boston don’t just decide one day to move to the middle of nowhere.”

Spinning around to glare at him, I shouted, “I didn’t just decide one day. I have wanted to get away from Boston my whole fucking life. I never wanted to be a Mob wife. I wasn’t given a choice.”

“What about Duane?”

“What about Duane?” Flinging my arms in the air, what did this have to do with Duane?

“Did you love him?”

“You don’t get to ask me that. Of course, I loved him. He was my husband. For twenty-nine years.”

Declan walked over, standing in front of me, toe to toe, looking down at me. “It should have been me.”

“You left.”

“I didn’t have a choice. I was twelve years old.”

“Well, I didn’t have a choice either. I didn’t get to choose my husband; he was chosen for me. I was thankful it was Duane. He was a good husband. He was a good father.”

“He was a selfish bastard. It should have been me,” he said again.

“You left and never came back.”

His nostrils flared, and his jaw ticked. He was breathing heavily through his nose, his mouth clamped shut tightly. Abruptly, he turned around and walked to one of the windows looking out into the darkness.

“Why did you come here?”

Letting out a heavy breath, I scoffed, “What difference does it make? I’m here. I chose Diamond Creek to start over.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you choose Diamond Creek?”

He still hadn’t turned around. He just stood there, looking through the window at the darkness. He couldn’t possibly see anything out there.

“Duane and I used to dream about what it would be like if he wasn’t a made man. Where we would live; what kind of life we could have. I wanted something simple. I wanted the country. I was tired of living in the city with no grass. Just concrete and stone everywhere I looked. I wanted chickens and a dog. I wanted a house.”

“Why Diamond Creek?”

Crossing my arms over my chest, I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to talk about this. I didn’t want to think about how I learned about Diamond Creek.

“When Duane got his diagnosis, he started planning. He wasn’t confident that he would beat it. He said if a bullet didn’t kill him, the cancer would. Turned out it was a bullet, after all. So, when he got really sick, he made me promise him I would leave. He had been putting money away. He wanted me to have what I needed to buy my way out.”

Dropping my arms by my sides again, I felt restless. I didn’t have any furniture here, no kitchen at all. The only furniture I had was in my bedroom, and I sure as hell wasn’t taking him in there.

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