Page 45 of Starting Over

My new home would not be what she was picturing, but it would definitely be more feminine.

“Got yourself a little kitschy cottage, huh? Knick knacks on every surface? I think legally you have to wait until you’re a grandmother to live like that.”

It was so good to hear her laugh. I knew she was struggling with me moving away, but I hoped once she came to visit, she would want to stay. Hell, maybe I could set her up with a biker. Micah might be taken, but there were plenty of others to choose from.

“Probably. When are you gonna get that done?” I asked, knowing what her answer would be.

“Ugh, when I find someone worth raising a child with. Mom, seriously, my options out here are limited. My choices are bankers and mobsters. Where are the normal guys? The ones who just want to go to work, and come home and raise a family. The ones that aren’t out there trying to one up everyone else?”

“Nebraska.”

“Mom,” she groaned.

“I know, I know. But I am telling you, once you visit and see all the hot bikers, not to mention the cowboys. Colleen, you are never going to want to leave,” I assured her.

“I guess we’ll see. Any actual prospects?”

“Oh, there are prospects, but they haven’t earned their patch yet, so might want to stay away from them. Not much time to themselves, let alone time for a woman.”

“You know what I mean.” I could hear the eye roll.

“I do. I haven’t even been here a month yet, but I have gotten to know some of the bikers. You could do worse.”

“What about the guys in town?” she asked.

“Well...”

“Mom, tell me you have not hidden yourself away.”

“It’s not as easy as you think,” I told her. “It’s cold here. Much colder than Boston. And I have a lot of work to do.”

“How are you going to make a life there if you don’t make friends?”

I let out a heavy breath. I knew she was worried. After Duane died, I pulled myself back from the organization. I needed distance, so that when the time came to leave, I wouldn’t back out.

“I’m not sure I can stay here,” I whispered.

There. I said it. The thing I was dreading bringing up to her.

“What do you mean? Why aren’t you staying?”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t staying. I said I wasn’t sure,” I repeated.

“Is everything ok?”

“I have to tell you something, Colleen, but you can’t tell anyone. I mean no one,” I insisted.

“Mom, you’re scaring me.”

“You don’t need to be scared. It’s just moving here didn’t get me as far away from the organization as I thought it would.”

“You’re not making any sense.”

I walked back into my bedroom and sat on my newly refinished floor. This might be a long conversation, and I didn’t want to stand for it.

“You remember my friend Kara, the one I told you about? And her son Justin?”

“Yea, Kara’s husband was the reason Pops went to jail.”

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