Page 104 of Starting Over

Sal smiled at me.

I didn’t mistake it for a smile of agreement, or even acquiescence. It was a pained smile. One that said he knew he had no choice but hated it just the same.

“I know. But he is willing to get to know me. That’s all I can expect right now.”

“So what’s your plan?” I asked, my fingers twined together over my stomach as I leaned back in my chair. To anyone watching, it would just look like two people having a conversation.

The reality was, we were two people walking a tight rope, side by side. Each participant wanting to push the other out of the way. Silently fighting to be the first one to reach the prize.

Jesus Christ, maybe Maureen was right. King wasn’t a fucking prize to possess.

“I have to get back to Boston. Find Tyran.” He looked to the side, and I saw his jaw tick. I knew that was painful for him. Tyran had been his best friend his whole life. To find out after over fifty years of friendship, that it was all destroyed in a single moment of revelation.

Turning back to me, he said, “I’d like to not wait another forty years to see you, brother.”

I blew out a breath before sitting forward. “Sal, I’m a cop.”

“That means we can’t be family?”

I searched his face, not sure what I was looking for. Could we be a family? We lived half a country apart, but was that far enough away?

“I honestly don’t know.”

Standing from his seat, he shoved his arms into his coat.

“I plan on visiting when my nephew is born.”

“Don’t let my daughter hear you say nephew. She insists on being surprised.” I smiled, thinking about my daughter. We had about five months left before we met my grandson.

“She reminds me so much of Mom. I wish I could have watched her grow up.”

“Me too,” I whispered to myself, not quietly enough.

Buttoning his coat, he looked over and shocked me with his words. “I never forgot about you, little brother. After Mom died, once I knew where you were, I kept an eye on you. The both of you. If I’d known she was pregnant when she left, I would have watched her too. I would have told you about your daughter.”

“What?”

“Connie. If I’d known, you would have had your daughter. Call me a selfish bastard, but I believe kids should be raised by the parents who want them. Despite what path they might take when they grow up. I would have given that to you, if I’d known.”

My brother turned to open the door, and I stood from my desk.

“Sal.”

He paused, his hand on the doorknob, but he didn’t turn around.

“I won’t apologize. Despite not being in her life, my daughter grew up to be a strong, confident, force of nature. She may have been a bitch, but her mother did that. Her grandmother did that. Finding her was the single greatest moment of my life. But seeing how happy she is with Blade. Seeing her with the friends she grew up with. The life she has. I wouldn’t change a thing if it meant there was even a chance she would have a life different from what she has now. That’s what a parent does. They sacrifice their own happiness to make sure their kids become the people they’re meant to be.”

I saw him clench the doorknob, his knuckles turning white. But I continued, “King wouldn’t be the man he is now if Mom hadn’t taken him away. Who knows what effect Eamon’s influence would have had on him. Yea, he became a criminal. But he still has morals. Mom did that. I did that.”

Sal’s shoulders lifted and fell with the deep breath he took, before he opened the door and walked out.

I knew that was an asshole move. But the truth was, Sal wasn’t just a criminal. He was a Mafia boss. The life King led in Arkansas. The drugs, the guns, the questions I refused to ask him. They all paled in comparison to what my brother was responsible for since he took over. I knew he killed his father. I don’t know why, but it didn’t matter. He wasn’t any different from what Eamon had been.

The idea that King could have grown up in that environment, one day killing Sal to take over. That wasn’t something I wanted to entertain.

I knew it would take a while for King to forgive me. If he ever did. But it didn’t matter. I would do it all over again. I would sacrifice everything for my family. My happiness meant nothing if King and Beck weren’t happy.

Staring through the window of my office, I watched my brother walk out of my life. I observed the barely noticeable nod of his head as he looked at my deputies, Fergus Malone and Jackie Stilton.

---