I spend most of the day watching Atlas to see if he’s whispering in his siblings’ ears, and the others to see if they are looking at me differently.
It’s torture.
The other part of my brain is distracted by thoughts of Penelope.
I could fall in love with a man like you. And you will never love me.
Is she right?
I don’t know how other men deal with a declaration like that, but I’m taking it very fucking seriously. I mean, my cock was inside that beautiful woman for hours last night.
She’s not just...I’ve thought about her for weeks. Since that first time.
I wasn’t expecting this and don’t know how to deal with it.
“Grandpa,” Bella says to me, dipping her eyes at the toy I’m supposed to be playing with.
“Wampa,” Jamie, my granddaughter, repeats, clapping her hands excitedly.
“Oh, did you hear that? Blake! Your daughter just said Grandpa.”
“She said Wam-pa,” Bella’s husband replies deadpan. “And she still hasn’t said daddy.”
I ignore them. I’m struck by how much Jamie looks like her grandma, and it pulls me back to the reality of my life.
Fuck, this is hard. I don’t know how to be a man who lost his wife and desires another one without feeling guilt and like I’m lying to everyone I love.
Including Penelope.
She deserves better than this.
“Momma!” Jamie claps some more.
“You’re not mine.” Blake shakes his head, but winks at his daughter.
“Stop saying that.” Bella throws a toy at him.
I climb to my feet and slap Blake on the back. “Give it time. Knox said every word under the sun before he said daddy. But he also followed me around like a bad smell.”
“I was after your money.” Knox sips his beer.
I snort.
He’s not lying.
“Jamie,” Blake leans forward. “Daddy is rich. Say daddy.”
“Momma!” Jamie dances on her bottom and we all laugh.
“At least I’ve got a one in two chance of having my babies say daddy early.” Atlas grins, glancing over at Molly, who is pregnant with twins.
“Two disappointments.” Blake shrugs and then laughs when Atlas gives him the bird.
“Get over it, Blake.” Bella lifts Jamie into her arms.
“Bwakee!” Jamie declares.
“Are you fucking kidding me!” Blake throws his hands up and the entire room breaks into laughter.