Page 49 of On The Beach

"Pretty amazing, huh?" I came here often and alone. But with her, the view felt different, new.

Belle tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "It's beautiful. Feels like the whole world's just…paused."

We sat in silence for a while, listening to the waves.

She was going to be out of my life soon, and I needed to give her a part of me. I wanted to tell her something real,which wasn't just jokes and island charm. I thought back to my old life, to long nights in labs and the endless hours in meeting rooms that seemed to blur together. To the moment, everything had fallen apart, and I'd ended up here.

"Backthen,I thought I had it all figured out until it all fell apart. For the past three years, I felt like I've figured out who I really am."

"And who are you?"

"That's the thing, Belle, I'm not sure I know anymore. I went from being a workaholic to a beach bum, and now…I feel like a piece of fucking driftwood."

Her eyes widened, and she looked at me with surprise.Yeah, lady, I'm not sure why I'm vomiting this shit to you either. But here we are!

"Don't you think that's too black or white?" she mused. "I think you know who you are—you are someone who wants a peaceful life without conflict. You have a huge problem with disloyalty and?—"

"How do you figure?"

"The disloyalty part?" she asked, and when I nodded, continued, "Just that when your fiancée cheated on you with her trainer…which, by the way, is such a cliché, that was a deal breaker for you."

"True," I admitted. "That'sexactlyhow I felt that there was no going back from that."

Belle's expression softened. "I'm sorry, Mick. But that's who you are. I also know RiRi told me that you fund a whole lot of stuff around the island, from the school to the clinic to…well, Franco."

I laughed. "He's always short."

"You believe in taking care of people around you. That's also you. I don't know what you did before you came here—but I believe that you're a man who cares, a man who has a bigheart, and one who burned out and wanted a simpler life, which is why you sleep in a hammock," she finished.

For someone who didn't know a lot about my past, she definitely knewme. I wasn't surprised. "Looking back, I think I was more in love with the idea of the life I thought I was supposed to have. You know, the success—the whole ladder-climbing game."

Belle nodded, watching me closely. "I don't like the ladder-climbing thing much, but in my business, if you want funding and your own lab; and if you want to influence, you have to play the game."

"You any good at it?" I already knew the answer to that.

"I suck at it," she admitted, as I knew she would. Belle had an almost naïve openness about her, the way she let people in and showed them exactly who she was. She didn't have the polish or the pretense to hide her feelings. She wouldn't be able to play politics if there was a gun to her head.

Like now, I could see that she was feeling a whole hell of a lot more than she or I were prepared for about this relationship…or fling…or whatever.

But you feel the same, Mick, which means you're just as fucked, the asshole with the pointy horns sitting on my shoulders cackled.

"I was damn good at playing the game, at wearing a mask." I traced a finger down her cheek. "Do you know that if you wear a mask for a long time, it becomes your face?"

She straightened and held my face gently in her hands. She kissed my lips tenderly. "I think you're one of the most authentic people I've ever met."

That stung. Deep. She saw me as authentic while I was lying to her about who I was. She'd never find out, though. She'd leave with the knowledge that Mick Bottom, the certified beach bum had been a transient lover of hers, and she hadn't found Dr. Augustus.

"Sometimes you don't realize how much you're missing yourself until you get out of it. Reef Harbor wasn't exactly planned. More like it showed up when I needed it most. It gave me the time and space I needed to find out who I was."

She smiled, and I fell for her.Hard. "And who are you, Mick Bottom?"

I was a man in love.That was the first thought that emerged in my head. Stupid fucking useless head!

"A man who's going to fuck your brains out tonight," I said salaciously.

Yeah, that was better, and so much for being my true self.

She tilted her head and smiled. "I'd like that."

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