Page 73 of Knot All That Glitters: Part 2

Shit, I shouldn’t have said that, because now he’s going to wonder what I’m doing. Sure enough, he leans closer, over my shoulder until his cheek is right next to mine, reading what on the screen.

“What the hell are you doing?” Jude growls at me. I ignore him and continue to fill out the form, typing in my omega IDnumber and then my birthday. “Bellybutton, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

I move onto the section of the form where I talk about my experiences with other packs, and briefly consider if I should mention what the Calloway pack did to me, what they’restilldoing to me.

“You’re wasting your time,” Jude hisses into my temple. “If you think for one second that I’m going to let you go to a scent clinic and find another fucking pack-”

“What are you going to do to stop me, Jude??” I ask, my voice harder than I’ve ever heard it. “Huh? What are you going to do? Tie me up? Bark at me?”

With a curse he spins me on the stool until I’m facing him, staring up at those green eyes of his, saturated with hurt, with jealousy of some unknown pack I haven’t even met yet. His hands grip the counter on either side of me again, caging me against the island. “Of course I’m not going to bark at you, button. And I’ll only tie you up if you ask me to. But I have absolutely no problem with hacking into every scent clinic database and erasing every application you submit. It won’t even be that hard. I can just build a program, a virus that keeps your applications from ever reaching them.”

I stare up at him in shock. He has the skills to do that. I’m sure he does. “Then I’ll go in and fill out a paper form.”

“Scheduling is still done on computers. You’ll never get an appointment. Not to submit your scent and certainly not to sniff pack scents.”

“You can’t do this!” I cry, throwing my hands up in the small space between our bodies. “You can’t keep me from finding a pack.”

“You have a pack!” he snarls at me. “We’reyour pack. Frankly, I think you already know this. Youwantme—us—to keep you from going to a scent clinic.”

“Oh, yeah? How do you figure?”

Jude takes a deep breath and some of the anger drains from him. He lifts one hand from the counter and runs it over the length of my braid, tugging the end gently. “Because if you actually wanted to go, to find a different pack than the one you already have, button, I have to think you’d be wise enough to submit an application from the privacy of your bedroom.” His thumb brushes against my bottom lip. His gaze focuses on the movement. “Instead you came here, to the kitchen where any of us could see what you’re doing. You wanted us to stop you.”

I breathe in through my nose, taking in his sea salt and driftwood scent, hating that it smells like home. That he smells like home. But he’s right, isn’t he? If I actually wanted to go to a scent clinic, I should never have been so obvious about it.

“Maybe I thought you’d respect my decision. Should have known better.”

“Or maybe you wanted us to hurt, button.” I swallow thickly and look away from him, down to my knees. “Hit the nail on the head, huh?” He pinches my chin gently and lifts it until I’m looking at him again. “You want to hurt us? Make us feel like we made you feel? That’s okay, baby. We deserve it. We deserve every ounce of your rage and vengeance. We’ll take anything you have to throw at us, and we’ll keep coming back for more. But we will not stand by and watch you throw yourself at another pack. Do you hear me? You’re ours. We’re yours. End of story.”

The backs of my eyes sting as I look up at him. My throat tightens. “I don’t know how else to hurt you,” I whisper. “I don’t really want to.”

He blows out a breath and presses his forehead to mine. “That’s okay, too. We’re doing a pretty damn good job of hurting ourselves on your behalf.”

“I can’t do this anymore, Jude,” I whisper, curling my fingers around his wrists, holding him in place when what Ishould do is push him away. “I can’t keep finding shit out about you that makes me…” I choke on the words and then force it back. “I have to look out for me. You understand that, right? I have to take care of myself. No one else ever has and I can’t trust…”

“You can’t trust that we’ll keep you safe and protected,” He finishes for me when I trail off. “But we will, Haven. That’s what we’re trying to do here. Show you that with us you are safe and cared for. You don’t have to shoulder the burden of protection anymore, button. You’ve been so strong, so damn determined to thrive, and I am in awe of you. But now you can give us the burden, baby. We want to carry it for you. Want to see you bloom and grow and fucking relax. Please, let us do that for you.”

I’m crying full on tears now. Streaming down my face, and Jude does nothing more than press his forehead to mine and carefully wipe the moisture away with his thumbs. God, I want to believe him. I want to just give in so badly. My omega is howling at me to do it, to let them, let him, just carry the weight I’ve been holding onto my whole life, since the moment my mother left.

“What happened?” Creed's voice breaks into the little cocoon wrapped around me and Jude. “Did you make her cry?”

Jude smiles softly, pulling back enough to let me see it. “She made herself cry.”

I snort at that, but he’s not wrong.

“Really?” Tic asks, drawing my attention to the entrance of the kitchen where the other three alphas stand. “How’d she do that?”

“Contemplated a life with another pack. The horror of it sent her sobbing.”

A reluctant laugh pulls from my chest. Hale moves closer, eyes flitting from me to the laptop behind me. Neither Jude nor I are fast enough to close it before he realizes what it is. His eyes widen in alarm, and I expect him to get angry to shout, but hejust reaches out and thumbs my bottom lip softly. “You checking out scent clinics?”

“What?” Creed growls.

“I thought I might… just see what it’s like. You know. For the future,” I duck my head, not wanting to see the hurt in their gazes. Because Jude’s right, thiswillhurt them. I knew it would. He’s also right that I wanted them to know about it. Though I’m not sure if it was to have them stop me from going or not. Some part of me suspects he was right, and I wanted them to stop me.

“I informed her that her application would never make it to them if she tried,” Jude cheerfully tells them.

Hale huffs. “Weren’t you the one who convinced us to let our little mouse go?”

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