Page 46 of Knot All That Glitters: Part 2

I shudder at the thought. “No. No. I do not want Brian. I’ll never want him. Even if he smelled divine and was hung like a horse, I wouldn’t want him.”

She jabs her fork at me. “Exactly. Omegas are all about instincts, babe. And your instincts are good enough to warn you away from the bad alphas. You know Brian is bad. Your omega knows Brian is bad. You don’t want him.”

I frown, running my spoon idly through my soup. “So why does she still want the Calloway pack? They’re bad too.”

Ren reaches out and pats my knee. “I think maybe your brain thinks that… but Haven, babe, they also rescued you from your father twice now. They’ve given you a place where you could blossom and be yourself. They lied to you, yes-”

“A lot. About really important things.”

“A lot about really important things. But your omega also realizes that while they were lying to you, they were taking care of you, making you feel safe and secure, providing for you.”

I stare at her hard, and I wish like hell I could deny what she’s saying, but I can’t. They did all of those things. Saved me from my father. Provided for me. Made me feel secure. Safe enough that I went into heat.

“But the lies….”

“Oh, the lies absolutely outweigh the good.”

For some reason, hearing her say that, agreeing with me, makes me frustrated. But what did I expect? For Ren to side with them, try to convince me to give them another chance, to prove that they won’t hurt me again the way they did before? That they want to keep me?

Um, yes. I think I was hoping for that… shit. I wanted her to give me the okay to try with the Calloway pack again.

“Did they tell you why they did it?” I ask hesitantly. “Why they approached me to begin with?”

She shakes her head and sets the bowl of Pad Thai back on the table. “No, but I don’t see how it matters.”

I blow out a breath. “I think it matters.”

Ren frowns and shifts until she’s sitting next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders to tug me into her side, and then she settles us back against the pillows. “Tell me.”

So I do. I spill all the horrible things my father did to their omega. To their pack. I tell her about their thirst for revenge and how I can’t even blame them for wanting it. I tell her about how what few pieces of me were intact before the start of the conversation completely shattered with the realization that I wouldn’t ever actually be with them.

“How can I be?” I ask, head tucked into the curve of her neck. “How can I still want to be with them, when I know that they’ll never actually want to be with me? They had an omega, a scent match, Ren. We know what happens when a scent match dies. The pack never fully recovers.”

“But they didn’t bond with her, Haves.”

“Do you think that really matters?” I shake my head and tsk. “And besides, don’t I deserve to be with my pack? My scent match? Don’t I deserve more than to be some pack’s consolation prize?”

Her arms tighten around me, and she drops a kiss to the top of my head. “Absolutely. Abso-fucking-lutely, you deserve that, babe.”

We’re quiet for a while and then she asks softly. “You really think your dad did all of that?”

I blow out a breath. “I’m sure he did. He’s never been a good guy. We know this. The way he treats people, the way he’s treated me, I can absolutely see him kidnapping an omega.” I hesitate for the longest moment, then whisper to her. “I’m pretty sure he has a bonding bite…”

Ren jerks her eyes wide as she stares at me. “A bonding bite? Are you sure? I thought your mother was a beta.”

“She was.” I shrug, because I’m not sure I saw what I think I did. “I saw it after a caning, so I could have hallucinated it. But it was a scar shaped like a bite on his shoulder.”

She hums, her expression contemplative and a little hard. “So you think maybe he forced a bond with Janie? Made her bite him?”

I nibble on my bottom lip. “It makes sense, right? He-he’s a lone alpha and somehow he’s managed to not go feral. We know he’s not taking suppressants. If he was, he wouldn’t be able to bark at anyone.” Ren shudders and her face pales and I know she’s remembering being under his control, unable to stop him from taking me, helping him when he demanded it.

I reach over and squeeze her hand. She squeezes back. “So you think he bonded with Janie to keep himself sane?”

I nod. “I do. But…”

Her eyes narrow at me when I trail off. “But what?”

“She died over ten years ago, Ren. How has he been staying sane since then?”

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