Page 17 of Perfidious Passion

I'll be okay as long as they are.

Caleb

FEB. 14TH - FRIDAY

Breakfast is everything it should be on a Valentine's Day. Fluffy pancakes with whipped cream and berries with syrup. Mimosas and coffee. A bowl of scrambled eggs, and a side of pineapple.

So tell me why the hell Lilly looks like she's about to burst into tears? The urge to snap and ask her if she's pregnant or something is strong, but I keep it to myself.

I get sensitive when she's sensitive. Another reason why having Dean and Aaron in our relationship is a good thing. We need them to balance us. Lilly suffers from anxiety, and it comes out as worry for others and feelings of inadequacy.

Whenever she gets this way, it triggers me. Which is probably something I need to work on myself, but it doesn't happen very often.

When mine and Dean's dad died when we were eleven, I had to watch my mom struggle with her self-worth. She never felt like she was doing enough for us, and it drove me crazy. I did everything I could to make her feel like the greatest mom alive, yet she still believes she could have done better.

My mom is the most amazing person I know. For her to deny it my entire life fuckinghurts. Losing my dad, her cheerleader and best friend, only brought her down more.

Lilly has three men who love her unconditionally, but she still doesn't believe us when we tell her she's perfect. Just like my mom.

I. Don't. Get it.

It makesmefeel likeI'mnot good enough. Lilly has no reason to be anxious around me. I love her. I cherish her. And I'm so damn happy with my life.

And still, her gray gaze won't stop flicking over to me beneath her lashes. "What, Lilly?" I struggle to keep my irritation out of my tone, but it's still tight.

"Oh, um.” She shifts in her seat and twirls her fork in the syrup on her plate. "You just look kind of... upset?"

Holding my sigh in takes monumental effort. “I'm just eating breakfast. I'm not upset, Lil. I promise."

Her lips twist and I know she's having a hard time believing me. "You seem lost in your thoughts."

"I'm eating," I reply with a shrug and pop a blueberry in my mouth to make my point.

She frowns at me. I wish she would believe me. I really am completely fine. Good even. I'm excited about tonight and enjoying our quiet breakfast. Maybe I should say that. But quiet for Lilly gives her anxiety space to grow sometimes.

"But you?—"

I sigh and lean back, cutting her off with my attitude. "I could ask you the same thing, Lilly. You've been lost in your thoughts all week. What's wrong?"

She shakes her head, frustrating me even more. Dean nudges my leg with his, probably trying to get me to stop, but I wave him off and lean forward so I'm looking our woman directly in the eye.

"You're projecting. I'm good. Stop putting your anxieties on me and tell me what's going on with you instead." There's a bite in my voice that I didn't mean to release. I just want her to be happy too. I can't even eat breakfast without her feeling like something's wrong.

"Caleb," Aaron snaps.

"No," Lilly whispers and looks away. "He's right. I'm sorry."

Her apology makes my gut twist with guilt. "Lilly..."

She bites her bottom lip, but I see the wobble. "No, you're right, Caleb. I know you don't like when I get pushy. I'm just feeling a bit off this week."

Dean's glaring daggers at me and Aaron's trying to smooth over my mistake, but I'm stuck in my head now, just like she accused me of. I need to figure out how to manage my own issues so I can help with hers.

Thank God we have our date tonight.

Lilly

FEB. 14TH - FRIDAY

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