Page 97 of Wolf

She brushes her shoulder against mine and I look down in surprise when she grabs my hand, curling her fingers through mine beneath the fabric of our skirts.

Grateful, I squeeze her hand and hang on tightly as Daddy thunders at the lectern. I’m lost in my thoughts until I hear my name and look up.

“Daughter, please stand,” he says. This is when I remember Mama’s words about making an example of me and dread curls through my system.

With my stomach at my knees, I stand and bow my head. Rachel’s hand falls away and I mourn the loss of her comfort as Daddy says, “You see brothers and sisters, even the worthiest can be tempted by sin.”

I sway and lock my knees as he continues.

“My beloved daughter, blood of my blood allowed temptation into her heart. She drank of the poison. She ate the forbidden fruit. She sinned,” he spits, slamming his hand on the lectern.

From the corner of my eye, I see Mercy flinch, but I can’t turn to her. I can’t comfort her. I can only stand here like a sacrificial, dumb, weak lamb while my father humiliates me.

“We know the ways of the lord. We know the path to redemption,” he says and someone in the back whispers, “Amen.”

“I too have seen the evil that tempts us,” he says. “I’ve lost my oldest daughter to it. She’s a sinner. She’s a whore for the devil.”

My stomach churns and I bite back the bitter retort on my tongue. Just get through this, I keep repeating, hoping it will be over soon.

”However, forgiveness is God's will, brothers, and sisters. My Lillith Anne has returned to her family. She has seen the evils of the world, and she has denied them.”

The congregation stands with a furor and begins to clap. When I look up in surprise, I almost roll my eyes to find Mrs. Noonan with tears on her cheeks.

It sickens me that these people eat this up with so little in the way of free thought. I mean, I’m sure that there's a higher power but if these people really think they’re reaching it here, they’re delusional.

“Come here, Lillith Anne,” Daddy says, and I approach with my heart in my throat. He won’t hit me. Not here, not in front of these people but sometimes, words are so much more powerful than fists.

“Face the good people, daughter. Face them. Show them what a sinner looks like. Show them.”

Raising my chin, I stare blindly into the audience. I don’t want to see their faces. It doesn’t matter if they’re judging or worshipful, it's still wrong.

“You can find the lord, ladies and gentlemen,” Daddy says. He steps around the lectern, and I stiffen.

My eyes lock with those of the sheriff and when he smiles, I shudder. Daddy lays a hand on my shoulder and pushes me to my knees. I drop with a whimper, biting my lip as he says, “May the sin born of the shadowed devil leave your repentant heart.”

What does that mean?

Does he know?

Shoot.

I walk around on eggshells for the next week, but Daddy never says anything and neither does Mama. I slowly start to relax and settle into the routine I’ve followed my whole life although my heart is hardly in it.

On Saturday, I’m back at the market, setting up the soaps to sell once again. When I woke this morning, I raced to the toilet and vomited up the contents of my stomach before forcing myself into clothes and out the door.

My stomach still roils but I’m hoping the chamomile tea I’ve been sipping on will help.

We’re two weeks away from the end of the school year. Although I’d rather skip graduation, Mama has been planning the event for days. This is another opportunity for the reverend and Mrs. Abernathy to show off their success as loving parents.

Gag.

I’m just glad to be done with school although I don’t know where this leads me. Miriam never went to college. She didn't even ask, and I wonder now if it wasn’t because she had already met Duke.

Once when Rachel mentioned school, Mama made no bones about telling us our choice was bible college or nothing. I suppose, if I think about it too clearly, I’ll have to admit thatshe’s envisioning marrying me off to some devout parishioner who will dutifully follow my father anywhere.

The thought stings my throat, and I bite back a surge of bile as a shadow forms over my head. For a moment, so brief it's like it never happened, joy suffuses my soul, and I look up.

Except it’s not Wolf standing over me. Mustering a wan smile, I open my mouth, but Maddox speaks before I can greet him. “I got a message for you.”

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