My stomach sinks when my mother’s scowling face appears before me. Mustering a weak smile, I cry out when she starts wailing on my head and shoulders.
All thoughts of Wolf flee as I curl into myself and sob. The brutal burn cascades over my limbs. Is she going to kill me?
It’s all I can think of as she rains down her angry blows until finally, she steps away, and snarls, “Look at me.”
Twisting my head, I open my eyes and meet her dark stare, lit with an unnatural fire. Her chest heaves from the exertion of her anger as she says, “The next time you go. Don’t bother coming back.”
After that, she leaves and I curl back into a ball, my heart thundering painfully.
I may have made a promise to Wolf, but I can’t stay here any longer. The question is, where do I go?
Wolf
After Lilli’s confession, I spoke to Joker, and we called church. It stings that Lilli even had to ask but I know she doesn’t really understand our world and god knows what the reverend has been telling her.
The mere thought of selling women for money makes my skin crawl though.
So far, the sheriff hasn’t shown his face but where there’s smoke there’s fire. I knew the Abernathy girls would bring trouble, but I feel no sense of victory at being right.
Thank god Doc was around to evaluate Lilli that night. Although the man was part of the first five brothers to form the Shadow Saints, he’s also always been a nomad. This only increased when his son, Scott died overseas serving in the military. It burns knowing that his killer is out there somewhere, but there’s no way for us to find a rebel insurgent half a world away.
So, when Doc takes off for weeks at a time, it’s best just to let him be. I can’t imagine the demons he carries, but he’s earned his fucking stripes, and we respect his need to be alone.
I meant what I said when I dropped Lilli at her house. It’s stupid, foolish, and completely reckless but facing her wide, hurt eyes as I tried to brush her off, hit me straight in the heart.
She doesn’t belong in my world, but I can see from our interactions that she may be struggling to find where she does. In the longer term, that’s not with me. It can’t be.
I made a vow a long time ago to keep shit simple for a lot of reasons. I’m not a simple man. What I do is dangerous. I’ve seen what happens to the people you love when you leave them behind.
Joker is a shell of the man he once was after losing Magnolia. Danny turned his grief into being a stupid asshole after losing his dad. Although my mother walked away long before my dad disappeared, this life turned her into a bitter cow, ultimately coloring Rose’s view of our world and the brothers she’s cut from her life.
Some women fit seamlessly into the MC. So far, I’ve never found one worth breaking my rules for. Thank fuck Lilli, despite her inner strength would never survive here in the long run and I wouldn’t want to test that theory on her. Although my mind whirls with the possibilities. She’s smart, she could learn but would she be happy?
She may be a sweet, naive, little thing who’s barely seen this town much less the world, but she’s got something none of these other chicks do. A toughness she doesn’t recognize and a view only she can experience.
I don’t know why she looks at me like I’m a fucking god, but it fills me with the strongest emotion to live up to it. Which is foolish, I’m nothing but a man and inevitably, I’m going to break her.
Watching her walk away after I confessed my need was both a relief and a disappointment. She’s straddling the line betweenmultiple worlds, and some part of me, the stupid part, hoped she would say fuck it and choose mine.
Thank fuck she did what she was told, and I haven’t seen nor heard from her since. I can only summon so much honor when it comes to her. If she does come back, all bets are off, and I’ll keep her for as long she lets me.
Then, I’ll let her go, into the world where hopefully she’ll find something greater than Reverend Abernathy and a no-good MC asshole with a considerable chip on his heavy shoulders.
The following morning, Duke approaches with a frown and I pause by the picnic area to let him catch up.
“Where you headed?” he asks, and I nod toward the trees. Although we have men who scout the woods and cover the fence, it’s hard to have eyes on everything all the time.
Joker has been scouting out surveillance cameras with the help of our resident IT nerd, Lucy. The luscious woman who has curves for days, the prettiest, caramel colored hair, and a mysterious air about her, is also a genius.
Lucy showed up at our gate six years ago. Reduced to skin and bones and wary as fuck, she told Joker and only Joker her story. The only part he shared is that her grandfather was a founding member of our MC and Joker refused to turn her away.
“I did some checking,” Duke says, and I nod as we pass the old broken-down cabin that used to house one of the families. “If the Abernathy’s were planning anything, you know about the baby…I haven’t heard anything.”
The assholes aren’t going to broadcast it to the world anyway but they’re the least of my concerns. What can the reverend andhis bitch wife possibly do against an entire MC? Nothing, that’s what.
I’m more worried about the fucking sheriff because despite due process, his shady as fuck dealings can turn us out at the drop of a dime.
“And Miriam?” I ask, scanning the trees for possible spots to place the cameras. I’m not a complete asshole which is why I ask, although it’s also partially because I need Duke’s head in the game and half the time, he’s worried about his woman.