Page 79 of Oliver

Bewildered, I stare after him, before turning back to the others and muttering, “What the fuck just happened?”

“Exactly what I said was going to happen,” Ramsay mutters.

“Which means what?” I demand.

Tapping his fingers against the table, he smiles coolly and says, “I knew this would be a fucking thing.”

“Ramsay,” Willow says, but Ramsay shakes his head.

“No. Don’t you get it? Ollie isn’t like the rest of us. This will tear him apart.”

What? What will tear him apart?

“Maybe this is good?” Maeve says softly and Diem sighs, pushing back his chair, “Not likely.”

Echoing Diem’s sigh, I lean back in my chair and rub my forehead. This is such a cluster.

“Well?” Ramsay says, raising his fucking brow.

“Well, what?” I snap and he frowns.

“You think fuckingKennywas going to go down well?”

Flinching, I bow my head but then I whip around and say, “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about but what I did…” My lip fucking quivers, and I suck in a breath. “It was the biggest mistake of my life.”

Ramsay’s stare bores a hole in my skull. I don’t want to see what Maeve thinks so I don’t bother to look.

“As for whatever you’re alluding to, it’s not my fucking problem. I don’t even understand what’s happening. I didn’t ask for this. I’m just trying to fucking survive…”

My voice hitches at the end, and I despise myself when I turn away to hide the tears. “Fuck you. I…just fuck you.”

“No,” Ramsay says. “Fuck you, Penny because when you did whatever the fuck you did, Oliver had to step in and now he’s somewhere in his fucking head.”

Oliver

Once again, I’m trapped by Penny’s emotions. They press against my chest like a ten-pound weight. The problem is her expectation of love is anathema to me.

Do I want to protect my sister? My mom? Penny? Yes, I do and the burn races through my system almost constantly but this notion that it tears me up inside?

That doesn’t exist for me and the more she pushes the more I need to back away. What I want for her and what she needs are two very different things.

I can come to the rescue when she’s scared. Hell, apparently, I can hold her when she’s sad. I can definitely fuck her when she’s needy.

I can’t love her. I don’t even understand the fucking word.

Although maybe love is more than hearts and flowers. Maybe it’s this insatiable need to fix what’s broken even though I know it’s too fucking late.

Now as I sit across from the man who allowed me entry into his world for a price, I wonder once again, how the fuck I’m going to finish this.

Penny

I spend a while sulking in Oliver’s room. When he doesn’t appear after an hour, I emerge with a headache and a scowl.

Why did he bring me here? What did Ramsay mean?

I’m not proud of what I did, by any means but at that time, Oliver fucked me and pushed me away with cruel words and even crueler actions. Am I supposed to believe now that it affected him then?

That’s a hard one to swallow. I mean, really? Oliver Goodlow did all this for me? Ha!

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