Page 55 of Oliver

“Sh,” Oliver says before picking me up in his arms and carrying me to his car.

Once we’re on the road, I close my eyes. I don’t want to know where we’re going as long as I don’t have to go there alone. Later, I barely rouse when he carries me inside and places me gently on the mattress before pulling a blanket to my chin.

Oliver

After closing the door quietly, I lean against the wood and stare at her, lying on the bed, facing the window. Her slow breaths calm me in a way I can’t describe but push at my chest until I can’t breathe. Fuck me, but she’s stolen my fucking breath.

When she turns to her back and stares at the ceiling, I brace myself. The quiet before the storm as it were before she speaks and reality rears its ugly fucking head.

“Why?” she whispers.

“Why what?” I ask and she looks at me.

Her glassy eyes create havoc in my chest, but I push that shit away. I can’t be what Penny wants. I’m not the dude who crawls into bed and wraps you up because that’s what you need, although I concede, I faked it pretty fucking well before.

Still, I can’t. It’s not part of my DNA. My skin feels itchy just at the thought.

“Why Dixie? Why not someone else?” she says, biting her wobbly lip.

With a sigh, I step from the door and sit on the bed, bowing my head into my hands. Why indeed?

It’s a question that I can’t answer and the farther I go the more I realize, I may not ever know the reason why. How do you explain sheer evil?

There’s no excuse good enough beyond greed and a lack of humanity that surpasses even my own neuroses and the last time I saw Dixie dances before me in shades of gray.

“What the fuck did you just say?” I said and she shook her head.

“You heard me. Go. I’m fine. I want to be here.”

Did she? Who the fuck knew. Half the time, I couldn’t deny the excitement I saw shining behind her eyes. I suspected, the further she went into this, the more she embraced the ugliness that lived within, dark and festering. If I had to guess, she was simultaneously disgusted and aroused by it and unfortunately, the arousal was winning.

“You’re un-fucking-believable,” I growled, and her lips pulled into a wan smile. Prior to this, I saw shades of Penny in her baby sister, including the dimples that I found so fucking cute, but no more. This person standing before me had lost the vibrance that Penny exuded without even trying.

“I know,” she whispered, wiping her eyes, and staring at her fingers with a furrowed brow. “I'll make you a deal,” she said. “You go. Now. And I will never go home again. Penny is free. I promise.”

I was fucking speechless which was a rare occurrence anymore and turning away, I stared at the wall as she said, “It’s okay. It’s not your job to save me, Oliver. But youcansave her…”

“How do I look her in the eye knowing I left her fucking sister…here,” I rasped, waving my arm.

“Don’t tell her.”

The events of that night still haunt me, but none more so than leaving her sister in that fucking house. This is why after Penny’s question of why Dixie that I say, “I don't know.”

Behind me, she sits up, the heat of her skin just out of my reach. I ache to feel that warmth even though I don’t deserve it. Penny should hate me, but she doesn’t, and I see that she struggles with it because deep down, her heart doesn’t have the capacity.

Too bad. I thought after watching her be the bitch she portrayed for years that maybe we were more alike. Turns out, she’s just a consummate liar, even if only to herself.

Like right fucking now when I can practically see the wheels turning as she tries to excuse away what is reprehensible behavior. How does she manage to continue the charade in her damn head. Can’t she fucking,see?

“Did you fuck her?” she asks.

My first instinct is to lie because it’s the gift she doesn’t understand she needs but her defeated tone stops me short, and I do the unthinkable.

I give her hope.

“No.”

Penny

---