He just always knew things and for the longest time I couldn’t understand why until I, too, started to study my surroundings. It’s not so hard, when you look at life through a lens. It’s like a fucking gazelle, ensuring it’s always one step ahead of its prey. Except I’m no fucking gazelle and neither is my father.
“Son,” he says in his smooth fucking tone. I’ve hated that voice since I learned that he was a lying cheater. Now, knowing the depths he’s willing to go, it makes my skin crawl—literally.
“Kenny,” I sneer, and he cocks his head. If I know anything it’s that I am more like this monster than I care to be. I guess I lost the coin toss when I was born a twin because I suspect Maeve inherited more than the darkness lurking beneath my father’s fetid soul.
“I assume you’re not here for a familial heart to heart?” he says dryly.
Clenching my hands into fists, I say, “What’s your game? Why me?”
The man is accusing me of a crime he has to know I didn’t commit. Unless he truly didn’t kill Dixie. This doesn’t absolve him of the other murders which he’s already admitted to but what’s his game now?
Why me?
We’ve been at odds since I learned about his extracurricular activities with the students at our school, including Hailey’s secret presence as my half-sister.
Did he sense my disgust even then? Did he know that I knew?
Cocking my head, I try to see past the veneer he’s had in place for so long but it’s impossible. He’ll never tell me anything he doesn’t want me to know.
“Why?” I ask and he sighs.
“Why what?”
“Don’t play fucking games,” I growl, leaning in. “Why?”
His mouth quirks and I lean back. This was a useless errand. This fucker isn’t going to tell me shit.
“I told the truth,” he finally says, and I snort.
“You wouldn't know the truth if it hit you in the face.”
“Maybe so, but I know you’ve joined the dark side, Ollie. I know. How does it feel? The sickness inside you. The need to feel powerful. In control.”
My skin prickles and I shake my head, saying through clenched teeth, “You don’t know shit.”
“Oh, but I do. I know that every time you look at your next victim, it’s the only way you feel alive. Knowing their pain brings you emotion. It’s like a fucking high, don’t you think?”
His all-knowing tone sends rage through my already burning soul and I spit, “I’m nothing like you.”
“No?” He cocks his head. “So, when you ran your little kingdom at Sterling, you didn’t enjoy the pain you gave others? It didn’t give you a perverse sense of satisfaction?”
Resisting the urge to look away, I raise my brow and he chuckles. “You can deny it to me, but you can’t hide it from yourself. You want answers? Then figure out who killed Dixie.”
With that, he stands, and I watch him walk away before exiting the fucking prison and stalking to my car.
Find Dixie’s killer? If it’s not him, then who the fuck is it?
When I return to Ramsay’s house, I head straight to the bathroom before turning on the water.
Scrubbing at my skin, I ignore the red welts that form even though no matter what I do, I can’t get clean. I’ve scraped the bottom of the barrel this time and all I want is to erase it all, but I can’t. I can’t go back and I’m not sure I would if I could.
Strangely, although the sickness I’ve exposed myself to creates an itch that I can’t take away, the farther into this I go, the more I understand.
I’m a single step away from being what I abhor and while I hate it with every fiber of my being, I also see beyond that revulsion. It’s like the supposed genius I was born with and that which has placed me forever apart from my peers gives me the advantage or disadvantage, if you will, of seeing beyond the basic humanity.
There’s a curious sort of distance that made me the perfect person to go down this road. I may not get off on death or hurting others to feel powerful, but I understand why someone else might do it.
Even so, after tonight, I’m stuck. I can’t go back. I did the unthinkable in the name of the people I call mine. I can’t bring them into my sunken world so I will have to leave. Once I’ve ended this game with my father once and for all, that is.