Page 129 of Oliver

Although I’ve found myself staring at my phone countless times, I haven’t attempted to communicate with him. I don’t know what to say. Please don’t leave me. That’s about as pathetic as it gets. Besides, it appears he’s already gone.

It’s not like he’s made any attempt to speak to me. While it hurts to be on the outside of his world, I’m trying to give him time to adjust to his new reality.

I know he hates his father but I’m sure finding out his mother was a serial killer is a blow that will take time to process. I just wish he would let me be there for him. It's not like I don't have my own fair share of skeletons in the closet.

Now that this is over, I’m ready to look toward the future. Although I’m still processing the shit Dixie was up to, I don’t wake from constant nightmares any longer. Unfortunately, we never found anything pointing to the possible hitchhiker, now more than likely dead. I wish with all my heart that I had more information because his family deserves closure.

After my terrified call to Sabrina, I haven't heard from her. I'm hoping she's decided to drop her stupid machinations. Life is too short to be angry all the damn time. Ha!

I’ve got a cute little apartment and with the remainder of my dad’s legacy, I have time to come to terms with my new reality, although I have been looking for a job.

I’d like to show Oliver my home. It would be wonderful to have him stay, snuggle on the couch we had so many beautiful interactions on, even if some of them were coming to terms with how broken we are. Maybe he would stay the night and I could wake in his arms, solidifying a fresh, new day.

I’m shaken from my thoughts when the people standing before me start to move. That’s when I look up and lock eyes with Oliver. His brows pinch over his eyes before he turns away, fighting the masses to get as far away from me as possible. Of course, my heart clenches painfully but I tuck that shit away and greet Willow with a wan smile, hiding my devastation when all I want to do is cry.

“How are you?” she says, and I shrug but tears fill my eyes and she pulls me along with her toward the cars parked at the edge of the grass.

When I glance back, Oliver is gone and my heart cracks just a little more.

Oliver

Every year on our grandfather’s birthday, Mom brought Maeve and me to his grave, in this same cemetery but several rows away. At the time, we didn’t question her motives but now as I stand before this poor bastard’s gravestone, I wonder who the fuck he is because he’s not my mother’s father.

Why the pretense? I guess I’ll never know. She took that along with every other part of her to her grave.

Dad isn’t exactly forthcoming, and I assume he thinks he’s protecting us, although more likely, he’s still stuck in his delusions of the past and a woman who was never anything more than the puppet of her father.

It was weird to see all the people gathered to mourn her because for me, she was a monster. Except those who stopped to gush over her will never know, she was anything but kind. The woman participated in bake sales, went to church, and volunteered at the local dog shelter. All actions that are dizzying if I examine them too closely.

Seeing Penny after weeks of denying myself sent a shock through my system. Her pretty eyes met mine with an emotion I refused to acknowledge. Once again, she’s looking for rainbows where nothing, but stormy skies exist.

Maybe I’m a coward but I couldn’t bear to let her down again, so I walked the other direction and here I am.

The blissful numbness surrounding my heart is gone though and I’m tempted to beat my chest until the fucking ache makes sense.

I don’t need Penny, but I want her with a ferocity that shakes me to my core. I always thought I was impervious to feelings, but it turns out I was lying, not only to myself but her.

It doesn’t matter though. Penny deserves more than I have to give and if it’s the last gift I present, it will be leaving her in peace.

Of course, my fucking brothers can’t let it go, which is why I stiffen when I hear someone approach. I am surprised when I turn and find my sister though.

She’s been quiet since I revealed the extent of our family’s depravity and I thought or maybe hoped, we could avoid any more discussions on the topic.

“Weird, right?” she says pointing her toe toward the grave before us.

I grunt in answer as she continues, “I guess visiting the grave of a complete stranger was preferable to the alternative.”

Snorting, I run my hands through my hair. News surrounding the discovery of our grandfather’s body and that of his victim broke yesterday. Now the media and no doubt the police are trying to determine the origin of the Lucky Charm killer, knowing our father was in jail when this last victim was brutalized.

I suspect eventually, Dad will be set free, stymying his efforts to sacrifice himself on the altar of god knows what he fucking thinks in that head of his. Whatever. I don’t fucking care as long as he stays well clear of me.

"Do you think she was the foster kid who disappeared?" Maeve asks.

"What?" I'm fucking exhausted and trying to track what Maeve is saying is difficult with the muffled roar in my ears. It's been there since Mom pulled that damn trigger.

"The article I found…maybe Mom was the girl who disappeared?" Maeve says and I grunt. Does it matter? We know who our parents are, there's no putting that shit back in the box.

“You’re wasting time, you know,” Maeve says softly, raising her glittering eyes to mine. Raising a brow, I say gruffly, “What time?”