Page 139 of Diem

Later, after Mom picks me up from the station, I break off for my room, the feral need to be alone eating at my skin. But, when she grabs my arm, I look up and rear back, pain exploding in my mouth before she shoves me away.

Stumbling, I drop to my ass and touch my throbbing lips as she says, “I’m legally responsible until you’re eighteen but after that, you better get your pathetic ass out of my house.”

∞∞∞

It’s late. The dawn light peeks through the shades while I stare at the puddle around me. I didn’t mean to cut so deep, but some pain just won’t go away.

Now, I’m dizzy, and I can’t feel my extremities.

With a soft sigh, I lean my head back and close my eyes. Oblivion. Maybe this is better anyway.

“Mae? Mae!”

It’s the last thing I remember before I open my eyes and stare at the navy-blue bed covers before me. Where am I?

“You’re here,” Willow says, and I turn my head.

She drops her book and meets my confused stare, saying quietly, “If you give in to your demons, they win.”

I’m pretty sure there’s no winning whichever way I go and raising my wrists, now wrapped in bandages, in the air, I murmur, “Death is too easy, anyway.”

She hums her agreement and I turn to my side away from her. It’s easier to speak my truth to the wall, I guess.

“My mom kicked me out. Or I guess she’s kicking me out when I turn eighteen.”

The disgust shining from her eyes after she popped me in the mouth, presses at my sternum and sucking in a shaky breath, I continue, “I didn’t know what to do, and now I’m alone. I’m always fucking alone.”

The bed dips as Willow shifts beside me and clawing at the tears, I’m always fucking shedding, I cover my sob with a chuckle. “And Diem…I’ve loved him since he showed up at our house one day. He was scrawny and pale, but fierce. I wanted to be fierce. I wanted to be anything but me. The stupid girl with a learning disability.”

Clearing my throat, I wipe my eyes and sigh. “Diem gave me hope but the truth is, I knew it even then. Diem is a force and I’m just a girl.”

Curling into a ball, I rub my aching chest and mumble, “Just a girl.”

“You’re not just a girl,” Diem breathes, and I stiffen when he wraps me up from behind. “You’remygirl.”

Catching the sob in my throat, I say, “Am I?”

Diem turns me to my back and clutches my cheeks, his dark eyes fierce as he says, “Sweet, the day I met you, I fell. I fucking fell—hard and you were just a little spunky girl with blonde fucking pigtails. I mean, really?”

Smoothing my hair back from my face, he leans his forehead against mine. “I didn’t get it. How could I? I didn’t know what it meant to love…but I do now. I fucking do. When I’m with you, the world is brighter, like fucking rainbows and shit. You smile and I’m a fucking goner. You cry and I want to rip the fucking world apart to make it better…even when it’s me.”

I chuckle, I can’t help it and his eyes light up but there’s so much more to us than this. How can we get past it when it’s a constant fucking wall between us?

“What about Skull?” I whisper and he says, “Skull will never be an issue again.”

I should be disturbed by the finality in his tone, but Skull deserved what he got and more. Still, he supposedly had information that we might need. I may have turned my father in, but I suspect whoever was harassing me with the panties was not him. Was it Ollie? Why?

With a shiver, I concede, maybe it’s better that Skull can’t tell anyone a thing because if it is my brother, I just bought some time to figure out what the hell is going on.

“Sweet,” Diem says, wiping a tear from my cheek.

Grabbing his hand, I clutch it between my icy fingers and rasp, “What’s different now? I’m still me and you’re still…”

His mouth curls in a solemn smile and he kisses my fingers as he says, “I’m tired of pushing you away because it’s what’s best. If you’re willing to get dirty with someone like me, then I’m gonna take the gift and never fucking let you go.”

My heart thumps at his words and pulling from his grasp, I peck him on the lips. “I want to be dirty with you, Diem.”

His eyes flare and he smirks before licking my bottom lip and saying in a sexy as fuck voice, “Oh, we’re gonna get dirty, sweet.”

---