Page 86 of Diem

As if he can sense my gaze, his eyes fly to mine and darken, a scowl crossing his features. My heart sinks, but I ignore it and turn back to Bone, grinding my ass against his pelvis.

Laughing, he pulls me in, showing me quite clearly, he’s aroused. I squirm away, but he just draws me closer. Except I don't like Bone in that way, and I have zero desire to have the ‘we’re better off friends’ conversation with him.

The song fades to a slow ballad, and a weird pulse pumps in my chest. What would it feel like to slow dance in Diem’s arms?

I’m pulled from my thoughts when someone bumps me from behind, and I turn to find Diem smirking at me, his dark eyes sparkling. He’s dancing with fucking Maxie, who’s snuggled into his arms with her head turned away.

I suck in a breath, but I don’t have time to react to his malicious triumph before Bone pulls me close and spins me away, murmuring in my ear, “Forget him. He’s a dick.”

Nodding against his shoulder, I close my eyes and pretend. I pretend being here with Bone makes me happy and that we’re in love, maybe even that he’s my happily ever after but then I open my eyes, and it’s just me, in the arms of a boy.

When the time rolls around to announce the prom king and queen, we head back to our table, watching from our seats as Diem and Maxie are crowned. Maxie is eating the shit up, her face stretched into the biggest smile I’ve ever seen, while Diem is more subdued, which is unusual for him.

Rising from my seat, I excuse myself for the restroom and lock myself in a stall before taking a deep breath and letting it loose. Although I try to relax, the weed Bone offered is no match for my unrequited longing for a dick bag.

I miss the boy who used to sit with me while I struggled through my homework, making me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry.

I ache for the way he made me feel that long ago night when he touched me like I was precious with a look in his eyes I can’t forget.

I misshim. I’m a sick mess, and I need serious fucking therapy.

I’m losing myself. And over what? A guy who doesn’t want me. Where’s my damn self-respect? Where’s the me, who took down Hailey?

Even if only for a fucking hour.

It’s about time I got my shit together because in a few short months, all of these people will be just a memory. I’ll move on, if I’m lucky, even if I have to wait tables and live in a fucking trash heap to do it.

Once graduation rolls around, I’m out. Fuck this place and everyone in it, including my dad and his disgusting behavior.

Resolved, I stare at the girl in the mirror before exiting and stepping outside to get some air. I’ve wallowed enough, now it’s time to take back my life.

Above me, I spy a star shoot across the night sky and smile, before making a wish to bring down every fucker who thought they could hurt me.

“Mm.”

Spinning around, I cock my head. It’s freezing ass cold. Who’s out here?

Unable to contain my curiosity, I tiptoe along the building and peek around the corner, only to find Diem leaning against the wall with Maxie before him.

She runs her fingers down his chest with a sultry smile. He’s looking away, his mouth curled in a frown, and it does strange things to my insides to see him with someone else.

I want to rip her hand away and then show him what he’s missing in a final fuck, or maybe fuck you but I remind myself I’m done with him.

Still, I’m stuck in place, watching Diem’s face while she tries to seduce him because strangely his expression is placid, his mouth pulled into a grim line. I’m reminded of the times we fight or fuck if you ask Diem. It’s the only time I’ve seen genuine emotion on his face, even if it was feral and angry.

Hmm, it would seem he’s not enjoying this as much as he should. Or am I just imagining it?

Why am I standing here like an idiot?

Backing away, I freeze when he catches my movement and I narrow my eyes when his mouth quirks up.

He raises a brow, catching her hand all the while staring into my eyes. Spellbound I watch, caught in his gaze, bright with emotion that wasn’t there a moment ago but as soon as he lets her go and she falls back, I turn away.

Diem is seriously fucked up which makes my own neuroses seem like child’s play.

When I reenter the building, Matt and the others are eager to go to an after-party. With my new resolve, I’m tired and more interested in making plans, but these moments are my last hurrah as a teenager, and I give in for that reason.

We’re headed to the parking lot when I realize I left my purse inside. Calling out to Matt, I say, “I’ll be right back.”

---