Page 65 of Diem

Snorting, he grabs the back of his neck and says, “So am I.”

“What are you going to do?” I ask quietly.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Stung, I step back and rasp, “Why do you care, anyway?”

His mouth curls in a grimace but his eyes glitter as he says, “You’re my best friend’s sister.”

Scoffing, I rub my head. “Don’t give me that shit. If you cared about that, you wouldn’t be acting like a total douche.”

“Whatever,” he rasps, leaning into my face. “Maybe I wouldn’t be acting like a total douche if you’d back the fuck off.”

“What the hell does that mean?” I gasp.

“I’m tired of you fucking begging. You think I want to see your greedy eyes every time I turn around?Backoff.”

Of course, tears appear, and I wipe at them angrily and back away. Diem’s face twists into a painful frown and he says, “Maeve.”

“Fuck you,” I scream, and he falls into silence, following me to the SUV.

I can barely stand to sit next to him and fly from the vehicle when we arrive at my house. This time, I don’t look back and I don’t even have to force myself not to.

Chapter Fifteen

Maeve

I’m a wasteland of regret all weekend, reliving over and over Diem’s words. Not only did he rip my poor heart to shreds but he humiliated me on purpose and while I suspect it was to get me to back off, it doesn’t change the circumstances.

I never realized how much I bothered him and now I’m sunk so low in misery I give in to the despair crawling through my veins.

It’s the only time I feel at peace, at least that’s how I justify it. Placing the razor back in the drawer, I sit with a roiling stomach before kneeling over the toilet and retching. It’s not supposed to be like this. I’m supposed to have a few fucking minutes of peace. What will I do if cutting into my own damn flesh isn’t enough to ease the pain lashing at my heart?

After, I sit against the wall and stare into nothing, glancing down when my skin begins to throb. It’s a nervous tic I started years ago when I didn’t have access to a razor. I pick at my skin until it’s raw and bruised but since I feel this way in my heart on any given day, it’s apropos. I guess.

I’ll have to wear long sleeves for a few days but what’s new about that? Nothing. I’ve hidden my body for so many years, this is just one facet of why.

On Sunday night, I agree to attend a kegger at Sanchez’s house. I’m resolved to the spectacle because it will be my chance to pretend my life isn’t a train going off the rails.

Unfortunately, Jaxon is here. He’s clearly a douche, and now that I know what he did to Dixie, I feel like an ass for pretending to date him. As far as plans go, that was a foolish one.

Diem doesn’t care about me nor my actions with Jaxon, and Hailey, like the fucking cockroach she is, will be just fine.

Me though. I’m tired, my skin literally crawls in Jaxon’s presence.

I’ve pushed aside Diem’s words since I got here. I’ll admit it to no one, but I’m tempted to go home and start right back up on the things I shouldn’t be contemplating.

Last night, I went to bed and stared at the ceiling until the sun rose in the sky. Now I’m resolved, walk before I’m sucked under, and I can’t emerge.

“Hey Maeve,” Jaxon says, breaking me from my painful reverie.

“Oh, uh hi,” I mumble, avoiding his flirty stare. He’s delusional if he thinks I have any interest but what’s new?

These guys all think they’re a smarmy smile away from getting laid.

“So, you wanna go in the back. Hang out?”

I can feel my left eye tic, but I manage to muster a smile. “No thanks.”

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