Page 6 of Diem

Ignoring my red-rimmed eyes, I run my throbbing fingers under the cool water, but it's useless and curling the digits into my palm, I confirm, it's going to hurt for a while.

It’s only the third period and already I want to go home.

When I emerge from the restroom, Matt smiles and I stuff the ache burning my chest behind a wink before leading the way down the hall. He chatters behind me, but I don’t hear the individual words, just the rumble of his voice, which brings me a slice of peace.

Matt was a tiny freshman who turned into a tall, lanky senior. He’s often quiet and shy, with a bright smile, and gorgeous eyes. He’s also the gentlest soul I’ve ever met.

“See you at lunch,” he says, and I wave, my grin fading as soon as he’s through the door. How did this become my life?

∞∞∞

By lunch, the rounds have been made, and I’ve been inundated with sneers and nasty proclamations about how I fucked Jaxon, and he dumped me after.

For once, I’m numb. Frankly, I’m tired of letting these asshats get to me. Why do I care if the dicks don’t like me? I don't like them.

Sitting down with my tiny group of friends, all of whom are outcasts for their own reasons like me, I eat my meal silently. It’s days like this that I miss Dixie because she would’ve been raging about Hailey’s cruelty and ready to spread brimstone and fire.

With her gone, my world shrank and now, I’m that much more invisible.

“I heard Diem refused to fuck you in the bathroom,” Harriet says with a wry grin, her blue eyes twinkling.

“Good news travels fast,” I say dryly. That was quick…from Jaxon to Diem, my nonexistent reputation is getting quite a shot of adrenaline.

She snorts, her blonde dreadlocks shaking around her head as she taps her chin. “Well, did he turn you down?”

“Nope, I did, tiny dick,” I mutter.

She smiles, her caramel-colored skin dewy in the afternoon sun. Harriet’s a total punk rock chick with multiple piercings, dreadlocks, and ripped jeans. She doesn’t conform and for that reason alone she’ll never belong.

Matt’s head whips around and he eyes me silently before saying, “Whatever, can we talk about anything but those dicks?”

I shift in my chair because I know how much Matt loathes my brother and his friends. I’ve never asked but I suspect he had a run in with one of them and he’s avoided speaking about them ever since.

At my wide-eyed stare, he drops his head, breaking off half his candy bar and handing it to me.

“Okay, subject change,” I say with a smile and heat suffuses his cheeks.

Uh-oh. I’ve got the sinking sensation that Matt likes me and I’m dreading the day he drums up the courage to admit it. I’d rather cut off a finger than hurt my friend, but even worse, tense situations send me into a weird hyperaware state, and I find that I say and do things I don’t mean.

Besides, as sick as it sounds, I’m consumed by thoughts of a broken boy with dark eyes who crushed me and never looked back.

“So, there’s a rager across town next weekend. You coming?” Harriet asks me.

Matt gives me a piteous look and turns away. He never goes to parties with Harriet, I suspect because much like I don’t want to let him down, he’s the same with her.

Personally, I think they’d make a cute couple, but nobody asked me.

Harriet has stopped trying to cajole him, but occasionally, I give in. What can I say? I crave the normalcy of a party with kids from Park High who don't care who I am or who my brother is.

Those are the times I can shed my skin and reveal the real me, but the crowd is rough and the boys even rougher.

I don't know what Harriet sees in the bad boys from downtown. I mean, we’re not exactly rich ourselves, but we’re lucky to be able to go to a better school.

My dad’s pay as a high school teacher isn’t extravagant and my mom hasn’t worked in years.

Inexplicably, my thoughts turn to Diem. He hangs out with Ollie and Ramsay and fits in as though he belongs. Perhaps his badass personality carries him through because it sure isn’t with loafers, fancy jeans, and button-downs.

Either way, he doesn't seem to notice the massive differences between him and them, and they welcome him like he's a god, which isn’t the same for the rest of us.

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