Page 3 of Diem

Sure, if they want me to grease their ass before I fuck it, I’ll do the dirty deed. But in the end, they’ll still walk away with an ache and wonder how it got there.

Whatever.

The meaningless motions I put myself through every fucking day leave me cold. I’m tired of the pretense. It’s all a game.

I can’t wait to blow this hellhole. As it stands, I’m only here because my brothers are. I don’t have a parental unit pushing me to graduate, which means I could drop at any time.

I’m not like Ollie, the genius, clamoring for knowledge. Nor do I have fucked up rich parents who expect me to go to college like Ramsay. I know my future and it involves my fists and the name I was cursed with. There’s no way out for me, a fact which I accepted long ago.

Yep, I’m destined for hell and the only light in a really dark fucking tunnel is also the last I should seek. I know my path and the innocent don’t belong. It’s why I’ve put up every barrier possible.

Tell that to my dick though because the fucker craves the look in her soft green eyes, reserved only for me. At least it used to be. I crushed that emotion under my boot, and I haven’t looked back, except to make sure she’s still limping along behind me.

I’m a dirty bastard, I know, but if I can’t bring her into my world, I’ll make sure she never forgets who I am or what I’ve done. It’s the only thing I have left, and I’ll take it, regardless of what any other fucker thinks.

Which is why I settle into my seat and watch the clock. She’ll come sailing in right before the bell rings. Her attempt to avoid me for as long as possible.

Oh sweetheart, you can’t outrun me.

For a moment, I savor the sting of hate bubbling on my tongue before I cast it aside. I picked my course and she’s not on it.

∞∞∞

Maeve

Sliding my glasses up my nose, I press my back to the bathroom stall and fall to the floor. My palms graze the tacky tiles and I smile through the tears welling in my eyes. If this is a metaphor for my life, it fucking sucks.

Whatever. So, I failed one test. It’s no big deal except Mom will go on a rant about my grades, college and why I suck in comparison to my genius brother.

It’s not my fault the jerk stole all the smarts. Maybe she should’ve thought better of having test tube babies. Sure, she got the child she wanted and an extra to boot but if you asked her, she’d probably say I was defective from day one.

Too bad.

Stupid. I’m stupid. I know it. She knows it. Hell, half the student body is aware. It’s not exactly a secret when I have an IEP and special accommodations.

This, of course, has led to many slurs by my peers. I’ve heard it all and more since the day I entered the public school system.

Why? Because I’m not like them. I’m not likehim, my brother. He’s been the golden child since he left the womb, two minutes, and twenty-nine seconds before me.

He’s got an off the charts IQ, while I struggle with every subject except music. He’s confident, strong-willed, and outgoing. Between him and his brothers, he’s created an empire that no student is willing to infringe upon.

Meanwhile, I’m a shadow. If anyone knows me, it’s as ‘Oliver’s sister’ or the other ridiculous names pinned upon me when I was diagnosed with a learning barrier and provided the accommodations my peers did not understand.

For being twins, we couldn’t be less alike.When we were young, it didn’t matter, and Ollie was still my hero. Until he dropped me and by association, his friends did too.

It’s not like I don’t have my own friends, I do but the betrayal still stung. Especially because they became the Sinners, and I became literally nothing.

The icing on the fucked-up cake is that Diem, the one person I thought I could count on walked away without a backward glance. He dumped me before and he dumped me after.

I thought true friendship couldn’t be broken but I was wrong. Somewhere along the way, he decided I wasn’t worthy, just like every other dick in this school, confirming the brutal thoughts that have run through me for years. It’s not them—it’s me.

I’m the defective one and if that’s the case, there’s no escaping, not even when I finally graduate and leave this fucking place.

Touching my wrist, I rub my finger over the pad of skin, acknowledging the bumps and ridges before I wipe my eyes. Today is not that day, but I feel the slick slide of darkness pulling at me.

If I don’t find the light, I may not outrun my demons. Right about now, I find that I don’t fucking care.

I know I have mere minutes before the bell rings, so I wipe my nose on a tissue before exiting the bathroom stall and stalking to the mirror.

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