Page 12 of Diem

He chokes up and tears fill my eyes. “I love you.”

“Love you too, kiddo.”

∞∞∞

Tapping my fingers against my thigh, I stare blindly at the screen while Matt munches on popcorn beside me.

Although I usually enjoy hanging out with Matt even with his propensity for gory movies, tonight the slasher film leaves me with a weird feeling in my stomach.

Is this how Dixie felt? Was she afraid? Did she feel pain?

The lead in the movie lets out an ear-piercing scream and I jump. Matt glances at me sideways before pressing pause on the movie. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” I shrug. “I think maybe I’ll go home though.”

“What? Why?” he says.

Avoiding his disappointed stare, I mumble, “I’m just tired. Long week.”

“Oh.”

I cringe at his sigh, but I know if I sit here much longer it’ll be me screaming bloody murder. Normally I would give in because I hate disappointing my friends, but I just don’t have it in me.

Still, I’m uneasy at his silence and on the verge of changing my mind as he walks me to the stairs.

“That was really cool what your dad said about Dixie,” he says, and I smile.

It was, although I don’t remember Dixie having his class. I guess it’s something we never bothered to speak about.

“Yeah,” I say, my chest burning. I should stay. I’m being selfish. Besides, as I keep having to remind myself, I may not always have the time I need to spend with my friends.

“What’s the deal with Diem anyway?” Matt asks, smoothing his hand down the banister.

“What?” My heart jumps into my throat and I look away before moving up the stairs. I hope I look as nonchalant as I wish I felt because I don’t want to talk about Diem, especially with Matt who gets all squirrely every time the topic comes up.

“Well, it’s weird he sat by you. Right? I mean he doesn’t even like you.”

I suck in a breath and stiffen before taking the last two steps in one go. When I breach the main floor, I head straight for the front door, bypassing the living room where Matt’s mom lays on the couch watching television.

All thoughts of staying are long gone. Now I just need to go before I break down.

Cry baby. Ugh. Why can’t I control my damn emotions?

“Mae?” Matt says while I fumble with the knob.

Finally, I’m free and I breathe in the cool air with a shiver. What Matt said so carelessly is not untrue, but the statement felt unkind and pointed at that.

Still when he grabs my arm, I pause and summon a smile while he searches my gaze with furrowed brows. “Mae? Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry.”

Wrong? Yes. No. Hell, I don’t know.

“It’s okay,” I say, pulling away with a wave. “Talk to you tomorrow.”

I don’t give him a chance to respond and it’s only as I’m driving down the street that I allow the tears to fall.He doesn’t even like you…

∞∞∞

On Saturday, Bone picks me up for Dixie’s funeral. We rode silently to the church before slipping inside to a room packed full of friends and family. My heart clenches at the sight of so many grieving people.

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