Page 80 of Ramsay

I don’t fucking know but I’m at a crossroads. I have a choice to make, and I don’t much like my options.

Even if I wanted to keep the fiery girl pretending to sleep next to me, I can’t.

If I do, I risk everything, even her. What’s more disturbing is that I find I’m not willing to do that either.

∞∞∞

Willow

I wake to the realization I’m going to have to do the walk of shame. I drank for the first time in a year and a half, not to mention fucking Ramsay in a moment of weakness. No doubt, I’ll hear about my sins as soon as I leave this room.

The bed is rumpled beside me, but that's the only evidence Ramsay was here. Feeling stupid but compelled, I sniff his pillow and breathe deeply, his cologne and whatever it is that’s uniquely him entering my sinuses. The perennial ache in my chest pulses and I close my eyes.

“Good, you’re awake,” Diem says.

With a squeak, I pull back, my cheeks warm as I meet Diem’s gaze. He’s eyeing me with a weird expression, and I turn away. What’s coming for me now?

“Get dressed and come downstairs,” he says gruffly. “We’ve got shit to discuss.”

“Yes, sir,” I mock, rolling my eyes at his retreating back.

He stiffens but keeps going, and I step from the bed gingerly, rubbing my aching brow. I consider helping myself to a shower, but I’ve no desire to be caught in a compromising position should one of them grow impatient.

Instead, I pull on my clothes from the evening before and grumpily make my way down the stairs.

“This stops now,” Diem is saying as I approach.

“D—“ Ramsay starts, but Oliver interjects.

“I agree.”

Slowing my steps, I tiptoe closer, unable to resist whatever has them arguing so vehemently.

It’s eerily quiet, and I’m just about to give up and keep going when Ramsay speaks again. “This could expose things better left buried. I enjoy this no more than you do.”

“Bullshit,” Diem explodes. “You fucking love it.”

Footfalls break out, and I spring into action, fearing one of them is about to catch me out, although I’m not ashamed of my eavesdropping, I need every advantage I can get around these dicks.

Rounding the corner, I plaster a cranky look on my face, which isn’t hard to do because I’m hungover and seriously annoyed by their antics. Why can’t they just be normal human beings and ask what they want to know?

Diem spins around when I enter, his eyes bright with his passionate fight. I’d like to know what they were talking about, but there’s no point in asking. They may be fighting with each other, but they’re a brick fucking wall when it comes to outsiders. I envy that wall, but I’ll never admit it.

I’m tired of being invisible, tired of the deception. Frankly, I’m just tired.

“Well, I’m here. What do you want,” I say with a sour look.

I’d kill for a coffee, but I’m not gonna ask for one. I do eye Ramsay’s with greed, noting that he’s sitting pretty as you please in his designated I am king of the world chair.

He gives me an icy smile, searching my gaze, and when I maintain my bitchy version, he eases a little. For whatever reason, he’s worried about what I might have overheard. Hm.

“Sit,” Ramsay says, and I consider refusing just because he ordered, but sometimes you have to pick your battles, and this one isn’t worth it.

Dropping into a chair, I cross my arms. It works with my current petulant attitude, but I’m also worried about what’s coming next, and this is my shield. Not that it’s done much to keep them from flaying me open every damn time.

It’s weirdly silent, and I resist the urge to shift nervously because if they’re hesitant, it can’t be fucking good for me.

I can feel Ramsay’s eyes boring into the side of my face, but I refuse to acknowledge him and our antics last night. As long as I keep it casual, he can’t make it a weapon against me. I mean, he can, but I’ll die before letting him know it.

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