Page 136 of Ramsay

His dark, knowing eyes flash before me and I swallow back bile.

“Willow?” Ramsay says but I’m caught in my nightmare until inexplicably, Diem’s playful grin replaces the gore.

Diem.

Frank.

McCafferty.

“Holy shit,” I rasp, grabbing Ramsay’s arm. “Diem’s dad. He is…was his dad…I killed Diem’s dad.”

I mean the man was a piece of shit but still, I killed his dad. Fuck me.

Ramsay pulls me into his chest, and I stiffen as he exhales slowly. What about the payment to Hate. Why? Why did they lie?

“It’s the greatest gift you could ever give,” he says softly, and I sag, catching a sob in my throat.

Gift. Wow. That’s…insanity but somehow also so fucking right. Sometimes we’re better off and that may sound horrible, but it’s true. Sometimes…we’re just better fucking off…

“Why didn’t you say something?” I ask. I mean, they had plenty of opportunities to spill the dirty deed. Why hide it?

Ramsay grabs my chin before I can freak out and says firmly, “Because our payment was to let you forget.”

Payment. I gave them information that potentially saved their lives, and they gave me peace in return.

“Is that why you got me out?” I ask with a bloom of warmth until he hesitates, and I’m forced to tamp down my suspicions. Whatever the case, they did get me out. Right?

Sensing my unease, he splays his hands wide and says, “Look, sort of. It’s…complicated.”

“Seems pretty simple to me.”

At my no doubt militant expression, he chuckles and the light behind his eyes eases the tightness invading my chest. This despite my fears about his answer. Shit but I’ve got it bad.

“Love, the thing is…we got you out of that room and hid the evidence but…when you looked at me with those damn eyes, I couldn’t leave you behind.”

I wish so desperately that I could remember but it’s a blank, a wall separating me from the horror. Maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe I’m better off leaving it in the darkest recesses of my brain.

“Eyes?” I ask, bemused and he chuckles, saying, “Yes, I swear to god they follow me into my dreams.”

Huh. That’s seriously twisted but also, kind of sweet…

“How? How did you find me?”

“After the incident at Fight Club, we had you followed but the dick didn’t report back quickly enough, and we got there…after.”

“Oh,” I say as he touches my hair once more. Does he crave the contact? Absorbing his words, I stare into nothing before I finally whisper, “Ramsay?”

“Hm?”

Perhaps this is something else I should leave in the past, but I have to know. I do…

“The rumors. What you did…The shitty behavior…?” I say and he stiffens.

His ramrod straight posture brings to mind the icy Ramsay of before and I raise my chin in defense of what’s coming next, only to sag when he says quietly, “The only way to protect you was to make you an enemy. If anyone suspected…”

“So, you what…? Terrorized me to…protect me?”

His answering shrug isn’t nearly enough and standing from the bed, I grab his arm, saying, “If that’s the case, then what about Hate?”

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