Page 49 of A Song of Death and Desire

Declaring our feelings has caused a shift in the way we interact with each other. I feel at peace, and from the way his body is free of tension, I think the same is the case for him. We don’t speak as we shower but Eagan turns me to face the wall and gently washes my long hair. He takes his time, gently massaging the shampoo into my scalp and making sure that my long strands are covered. As he does so, he peppers light kisses over my back, my shoulders, and my neck.

After he rinses my hair, he covers me in body wash, ensuring that he meticulously and carefully cleans every part of me. He’s mindful of my pain, avoiding any sexual touch but ensuring that I feel the intimacy and love from this sensual act.

When we are both clean and dressed we make ourselves something to eat. It’s late afternoon, and we’ve slept most of the day away, and it’s only now that my body recognizes how hungry I am.

As we are sitting down to eat at the kitchen island, my stiff body making large movements difficult, a loud banging comes from the door.

“Hey Eagan! You better open the door right fucking now because you haven’t responded to my messages in a couple of days now and you promised you wouldn’t ghost me again,” Sienna yells, continuing to smash her fists into the door.

“Fuck,” Eagan mutters, running his fingers through his hair.

He gets up to answer the door, realizing that Sienna isn’t going to stop. I’m not sure how he expects to explain away my current state. I look like… well, I look exactly like I’ve been attacked by birds, but I doubt she’s going to believe that this was just some kind of freak occurrence.

I don’t move from my spot as Eagan answers the door and is bombarded with a storm of questions and jabs from Sienna. I twist my hands together in my lap while I wait for her to discover me.

“Oh, my fucking god!” Sienna screeches when she stops speaking to Eagan and finally turns her gaze to me. “What happened to you?”

“Um…” I reply, looking to Eagan for assistance. What does he want me to say here?

I realize that I don’t have it in me to come up with some elaborate lie. I really like Sienna, and I can see us being great friends in the future, especially if things work out between Eagan and me. I don’t want our friendship to be based on a lie. It will be exhausting to keep up with it, and I’m sure, at some point, she is going to want to know more about me.

I glance at Eagan and ask, “Can I tell her everything? I really want her to know.” Part of me is terrified that she will reject me, that the friendship we have been building will crumble to nothing the minute she knows the truth. But I don’t want what we have to be built on lies. I want her to like me for me.

He doesn’t say anything for several long moments, and I can see the twitch of his jaw as he contemplates what I’m asking. Sienna stands between us looking back and forth with confusion.

“Someone better tell me what the hell is going on right now,” she says, her voice lower and more threatening than I’ve ever heard.

Eagan nods at me and I sigh, “You better sit down, Sienna. This might take a while.”

Sienna stares at me, eyes wide and she blinks once. Twice. She doesn’t speak, doesn’t move. Just stares. I fidget uncomfortably while I wait for her reaction. I told her everything. Every detail, beginning with what I am—well, what I was—and everything that has happened since the first time I came across Eagan. Eagan barely spoke, only chipping in when he felt like I left out an important detail.

After what feels like an exceptionally long time she lets out a loud exhale. “Okay that was not at all what I was expecting when I turned up here today,” she says as she rests her head in her hands. “I think my head is going to explode. I don’t even know how to process all of this.”

I chuckle nervously. “Yeah, I know it’s a lot.”

“Understatement of the freaking century,” she mutters under her breath.

“It was a lot for me too. But you’re already handling the information better than I did,” Eagan adds.

“You’re telling me sirens and witches exist? What else are we blissfully unaware of?” I shrug my shoulders, I honestly don’t know. “This is both a cool and absolutely terrifying revelation.One that you—” she points at Eagan with a glare, “should have told me about sooner. I can’t believe you were dealing with this all on your own.”

She’s silent for a few moments, a frown furrowing her brow. “Moving on from the whole, siren-who-eats-humans-thing, I’m sure that’s going to mess with my head later—what are you going to do about Vala?”

Now it’s my turn to rest my head in my hands and Eagan moves to stand behind me, offering comfort by placing his hands on my shoulders. “I don’t know. She’s extremely powerful.”

“Hmm,” she responds. “I want in on defeating the evil witch bitch.”

“Wait, what?” I gape at her confused and Eagan tightens his grip on my shoulders.

“Absolutely fucking not,” Eagan growls. “It’s bad enough that Kairi is putting herself in danger again, I’m not having you do it too.”

“Excuse me. I am a grown-ass woman who can make my own decisions, thank you very much,” she says indignantly. She turns her gaze to me. “Kairi, I know we haven’t known each other long, but despite everything I’ve just learned, I know that you are a good person. I think we can be good friends, and I already see how much you mean to my brother. I agree with you that it feels wrong to know what’s happening but do nothing to stop it. And if you both are going to throw yourselves into dangerous situations then sign me up. I’m not letting you do it alone.”

I have to swallow a few times and blink away the tears pooling in my eyes. I swear I’ve cried more in the last few days than I have in a lifetime.

“I don’t like this, Enna,” Eagan says, his voice low and dominating.

Sienna flicks her hair. “And I don’t care what you like or don’t like, big bro. I’m coming whether you like it or not.”

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