Page 32 of A Song of Death and Desire

He looks at me warily, seeing that I’m excited about something but not sure what. “My day was good. I saw my friend Tom who also used to be my boss. He offered me my job back. Well, not the same job, but similar at least.” He can't keep the smile that matches mine off his face.

“Oh, my goddess! That’s fantastic news and gives me the perfect segue to say… I got a job too!” He looks at me with his eyes wide and eyebrows raised.

“What? What do you mean you got a job? How? Where?” He fires off the questions in quick succession.

I start to ramble again, another habit I’ve formed in this body. “After all the shit that happened with Vala and after you gave me money I knew I couldn’t walk around looking like I did. I was a mess, covered in blood and my clothes were torn to shreds. So, I wandered around for a while until I found the little clothing shop on the main street. Do you know the one? It’s run by Kelsey,who, by the way, is the absolute sweetest person. Short, bright pink hair, lots of facial piercings—” He doesn’t say anything and continues to stare so I keep going, “Anyway, Kelsey was so nice to me, she helped me find some new clothes that were cheap and I went back there the next day and she helped me find more useful things.”

“I was thinking today while you were out that I need to start planning for the future. I need to act like a normal human being. You’ve helped me so much, but I can’t rely on you for everything like I have been doing. And then the idea came to me. A job. If I could get a job then I could earn some money and at least contribute in some way. It will also keep me busy, especially since I’m running out ofLove Islandepisodes.” I’m pleased when this earns me a chuckle. He continues to find my obsession with the show ridiculous. “When I decided I wanted to get a job, the first thing that came to mind was Kelsey’s boutique, so I walked on over there and asked for a job, and she said yes!” I finished, partially out of breath from the words pouring out of my mouth.

Once again I am completely enraptured by the deep blue of his eyes and the brightness within him. Even when hardened by the thoughts of me and my history, he’s never able to dull their shine. They are particularly filled with warmth today and I bask in his gaze. He takes a moment before speaking, “That’s fantastic Kairi; well done.”

I do a little happy dance at his praise, eliciting another one of his hard-won laughs. I want to celebrate the fact that we both had good days, so I grab both of his hands and pull him into the dance with me. He tries to dig his heels in and move away, but I’m insistent, wiggling my hips and shimmying my shoulders, encouraging him to give me this. To let go with me and have fun.

I can’t believe my eyes when he gives in. He starts by bobbing his head. His cheeks flush pink in embarrassment, and he stops quickly. “No!” I cry. “Keep going!”

His smile grows and he moves his hips in the smallest of movements. It would barely be considered dancing but goddess, I’ll take it! I throw my head back and laugh as my movements become even more wild. I hold up one of his hands and twirl under it, again and again. And he allows it. When I stop spinning, he places a hand on my waist to steady me, and I realize we are face to face, chest to chest. I’m breathing heavily but I feel so light.Weightless.And the look on Eagan’s face makes me think.Maybe he feels this too.

Chapter 33

What in the world is this woman doing to me? I’m standing in my kitchen, dancing with a woman. I don’t dance.Ever.Well, I’m not sure you could call this dancing but it’s definitely dance-adjacent. And I feel this warmth in my chest that’s unfamiliar. I watch Kairi as she does the most ridiculous wiggle of hips and twerking of her ass. She is so full of joy and light. While I keep my emotions muted and subdued, she shows it all and isn’t afraid to let people see it. No matter how hard I try to remain stoic and unaffected, she pulls me in and before I know it I’m laughing. And not just a chuckle either, a full-bellied laugh. I don’t even remember the last time I did this. In the last few months, there has been little to bring this out of me, but Kairi just seems to be able to do it.

I find it unnerving how quickly and easily she can break through my carefully constructed emotional walls and I’m notsure what it means. I’m beginning to think that perhaps I don’t always have to keep emotions buried. She makes it look so freeing to be living in the moment and feeling everything so strongly. It makes me hyper-aware of just how little I allow people to see of the real me.

After twirling with me enough times to make her dizzy, she stops with her body pressed against me. I look down at her, at her flushed cheeks and twinkling green eyes that stare up at me. I can feel her chest rise and fall with her breath and my gaze is drawn to her lips. We don’t speak, both of us choosing to remain in the moment. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips and I’m done for.

I crash my lips against her without a shred of tenderness. She makes me wild, untethered and all I want to do is consume her. Her initial gasp of shock morphs into a moan as my tongue pushes into her mouth, deepening the kiss. It’s inevitable. We are constantly being pulled together and after my day of contemplation and my conversation with Tom, I’m done resisting this.

My hand wraps around her hot-as-fuck ponytail, pulling her head back. Hard. She lets out the most adorable whimper and I break our kiss for just a second to take her in. I loosen my hold on her hair, and she takes the moment of reprieve to kneel before me. The sight of this goddess on her knees at my feet has me weak. I don’t think I’ve ever been this hard in my life.

“Get naked for me, vicious one,” I growl, desperate to see all of her. I don’t want a scrap of clothing hiding her body from me.

Ever so compliantly, she undresses quickly. My cock strains at my jeans the whole time. She resumes her submissive position at my feet and looks up at me, pupils blown wide. “Are you going to suck me, baby? You’re going to look so damn good with my cock in your mouth. Can you take it, vicious one?” She nods eagerly and I notice the way she rubs her thighs together, aching forfriction. “Are you wet for me? Does the idea of choking on my cock make you drenched? Hmm, I bet it does. You’re desperate for me aren’t you?” I don’t even know the words that are coming out of my mouth, but fuck do I like the reaction she has to them. She whines and unzips my pants, not even stopping to pull them down before pulling me out. Precum drips from the head and she leans in and uses her tongue to lap it up. I groan and tangle my fingers in her hair, holding her to me.

She slowly, torturously, licks the length of my shaft, causing me to twitch in her hands. She does it once more and then sucks the tip into her mouth. It takes all my concentration not to blow straight away as she pulls me down her throat. Fuck, she’s taking all of me. I hit the back of her throat and she barely even gags. I wouldn’t even think this was a challenge for her if I didn’t see her eyes begin to water.

“Fuck baby, you’re taking me so god damn well. Look at you. So, fucking beautiful.” She moves her head backward and forwards, her nose touching my pubic bone as her throat relaxes to take me. She hollows her cheeks as she sucks when she pulls back. She’s moving slowly. Carefully. And it’s driving me crazy. Before I know it, I’m using my hands in her hair as leverage to push myself into her “I’m going to fuck your face now, vicious one. If you need me to stop, tap my thigh three times and I’ll stop immediately. Tap me now if you understand.” With no hesitation she reaches a hand and taps my left thigh.Oh, thank fuck!

I unleash. Thrusting myself into her mouth. Harder. Faster. I can hear her struggling for breath, but I can’t stop. Both of her hands reach around me to cup my ass which is bare now that my jeans have fallen to my knees. She grips my ass cheeks and digs her nails in, like it's her tether to reality. She gives no indication that she’s going to tap out. Tears are streaming down her face, and I will never forget the way she looks, kneeling naked onmy kitchen floor, hair tangled in my hands, and her throat swollen with my cock. The view is better than any of my wildest fantasies.

Our moans are intertwining together, and Kairi begins to fidget more. She’s so needy and wanting. She removes one of her hands from my ass, and I worry that she’s going to tap, but she doesn’t. Instead, she reaches down to her slickened pussy with the intention of finishing herself off. No, I’m not having that.

“Don’t you dare touch yourself, vicious one. You are not allowed to come yet.” She whines again but pulls her hand away. My balls tighten as I barrel towards my release. “I’m going to come, baby, and you’re going to suck down every drop, aren’t you?” She somehow manages to nod around my cock, and in seconds, I’m coming with a roar and spilling down her throat. She takes it all, every drop, even paying attention to lick off any that escapes. She’s gasping for her breath but licking her lips and I’ve never seen anything so wonderful.

“Please, Eagan,” she breathes. “Please let me come.” Fuck she’s so beautiful when she begs.

Chapter 34

The whines that leave me are embarrassing as I beg Eagan to let me come. I don’t know who this wanton creature is that seems to come out when I’m around him. I’ve never begged for anything in my life.

My lips still have the salty taste of him, and I feel like I’m going to combust at any moment. Tears still wet my cheeks, and his hands haven’t left my hair. His breathing is ragged as he comes down from his release and I’m so fucking desperate for him to touch me.

“Touch me. Please. I need to feel you,” I cry, as I pull myself up to stand in front of him.

“Oh, vicious one, don’t you worry. I’m not finished with you yet,” he growls before pulling me by my hand to the sofa. “I have to taste you.” Yes. Oh, goddess, yes. I need that too.

He’s in complete control of me. And I love it. I’ve never been submissive in my life, but he makes me want to give up control. To let go and justfeel.I don’t have to take what I want from him because he is willing to give it to me. Freely and enthusiastically.

Eagan pushes me down to the sofa. He’s pulled up his jeans and now he’s completely dressed while I’m completely naked. I squirm a little as he devours me with his gaze, his eyes never leaving my body.

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