Page 64 of Saint

“No time like the present.”

“I’m done sleeping around. For good. And—” he held up a hand when Nix opened his mouth, “please don’t tell me that you’re fine with me fucking other people. I really, really hate that. Every time you said it, it was like you were sticking a knife in my gut and twisting the handle.”

“That’s…odd.” Nix leaned back in the seat and inspected him. “Who are you, and what have you done with Yejun Sang?”

“Funny.”

“I’m serious. You’re the one who kept telling me you wouldn’t stop being a playboy, remember? I simply acceptedyourterms, June.”

“I was wrong. I don’t want you to be okay with it. I want you to want me back as badly as I want you.”

Nix’s traitorous heart leaped at that. “How…badly do you want me?”

“I can’t even get it up for anyone else,” Yejun confessed.

“Seemed to manage that just fine with Lake the other day.”

“Yeah,” he snorted, “because it was Lake and you were watching. I went back to the Roost after that and jerked off five times to the mental image of you blowing your load all over West’s chest.”

“I should have let you come.” Nix could have ordered Lake to return the favor after Yejun had blown him, but he hadn’t. As soon as he and West had gotten off, the two of them had rushed to take care of the fresh bitemark, leaving Lake and Yejun to their own devices. It hadn’t been a conscious decision…but it hadn’t exactly been an unconscious one either. “Part of me wanted to keep punishing you.”

“You’ll never have to use that video against me,” he swore. “If you want me to do something, all you have to do is say it and it’ll be done.”

“And if I mess up and the Order decides to share the video in an attempt to hurt me?” Nix asked. “They’ll see it’s you and Lake that were filmed. You’ll be the one put on blast. Sure, they’ll come for me, but—”

“No one will hurt you,” Yejun cut him off, voice turning deadly in an instant. “I’ll kill anyone who tries.”

Nix shivered and Yejun’s face fell. “That’s not…I didn’t have that reaction because I’m scared of you, June.”

“I know that you are.”

“Yes, but, on some level I’m beginning to understand you won’t hurt me.”

“Again.”

Nix hummed. “Yeah. Again. But if you do, I’ll rent the largest projection billboard in the city and broadcast that videoof you sucking Lake off to the entire planet on repeat. Try being a respectable artist with everyone whispering that you’re the emperor’s bitch behind your back.”

“I doubt the public will be so considerate as to only name call from afar,” Yejun drawled. “What about you? Has the gossip died down about the painting?”

“You guys took care of that from the beginning.” He’d only heard a few whispered rumors and caught a couple of glances as of late. The room at the gallery showing had been packed, but there’d been less than thirty people there in total. Their multi-slates had been confiscated and all photos taken of the painting had been deleted. “You threatened to expel and ruin the lives of anyone found talking about it, remember?”

Say what you wanted about the Demon, but he was protective.

Not just of other people, but also of himself.

“About what I said at the hospital,” Nix began tentatively, unsure how to proceed.

“What did you say?”

“How I understand better where you were coming from after you caught Branwen hurting West. I meant that. I can’t imagine…If it were me, I would have done worse than merely lock her up and interrogate her. Honestly, now that the shoe is on the other foot, I’m actually grateful you held yourself back so much.”

Yejun looked uncomfortable. “Nix, I kept her up for days with loud music, made her piss in a tiny bucket in the corner that I never changed out, and withheld food and water. As badly as I want you to keep thinking I wasn’t horrible, I don’t want to lie to you. I wasn’t kind to her. In fact,” he wrung his hands in his lap, “the more I think about it, the more I’m certain I had something to do with her death. Maybe not directly, but I was definitely part of the reason.”

Nix had known that. Branwen had felt abandoned and hopeless when she’d chosen to take her own life. She must have been humiliated and truly believed there was no one left she could turn to for help.

“I broke her down and stripped away her dignity,” Yejun continued when Nix didn’t immediately speak. “Since I was the one who caught her in the act, I’m also the reason she became useless to the poisoner. Whoever that person is, they—”

“We’re all responsible for our own actions,” Nix stated, “no matter the reasons behind them. Branwen chose to get into bed with the poisoner. She chose to target the three of you, to play along and pretend to be your friend.” He blew out a breath and rubbed at his temples, a headache starting to form. “She chose to write me that letter and get me involved even though being here was what caused her to give up. She was no saint. None of us are.”

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