Page 42 of Saint

“We both know that’s not how forgiveness works.” Yejun started walking again, figuring it would be better if they had this conversation sitting down. “Let me buy you coffee first. Then let’s talk. Okay?”

He still kept his distance, but at least Nix agreed and followed after him.

* * *

“Is your mom always that fierce?” Nix asked ten minutes later once they’d gotten their coffees and a single slice of cake. He sipped at his hot drink, seeming pleased with it, but ignored the food Yejun had bought specifically for him.

“So you saw her slap me?” Yejun laughed it off. “It’s no big deal. Sometimes she gets like that, that’s all.”

“Is that where your anger issues come from?”

“I don’t—” He blew out a breath. “Probably.”

“What made her so mad?” Nix sipped his coffee and stared at Yejun across the table, giving him his full attention.

For the first time in weeks.

He cleared his throat. “Lots of things. It mostly just boils down to her thinking I’m abusing my talent as an artist. If she had her way, I’d be locked in the studio twenty-four-seven, constantly creating with no breaks in between.”

Nix’s brow furrowed slightly. “I thought Lake said you and your parents get along?”

“We do.” He started picking at the black plastic lid of his cup absently. “At least, better than West does with his dad. I don’t hate my parents. They’re just a lot, that’s all.”

“I heard…” Nix hesitated, clearly unsure if he should admit what he wanted to say or not, but then ended up doing so. “I heard my name mentioned. I swear I wasn’t eavesdropping, and I couldn’t make out anything else that was said.”

He was afraid Yejun was going to get angry at him for listening.

June’s shoulders caved in. “Firebird, look at me.”

Nix did.

“Nothing like that will ever happen again, you have my word. I will never take my emotions out on you like that in the future. I get it’ll take time for me to prove it, and I will.”

The younger guy didn’t respond, but he didn’t drop his gaze again either, so that was progress.

Yejun sighed. “As for my mother, she has this idea of what my future is going to look like, and nothing I say to her can get her to alter that perception. You don’t have to worry though. I’m in this, with you. It doesn’t matter what she thinks.”

“Ah,” he hummed in understanding. “She doesn’t like me.”

“She doesn’t really like anyone. I could sleep around as much as I wanted because it was nothing serious, but being in a relationship with someone makes her uncomfortable. I think she’s finally realizing I’m not a kid anymore and I won’t blindly follow her orders.”

He used to talk about this stuff with Iris. After her betrayal, he’d sworn to himself he’d never trust anyone outside of West and Lake again. Putting himself in a vulnerable position was bad for all of them, but Nix wasn’t just anyone, and in reality…Yejun had wronged him more.

“Your cousin saw my mom hit me once too,” he confessed, and this time he was the one who couldn’t make eye contact. “She was pretty upset by it. I remember thinking it was sweet, how bent out of shape she got on my behalf. We bonded over our strict parents. Hers never wanted her to enroll at Foxglove.”

“Our families stay out of club business as much as possible,” Nix said softly.

“She mentioned that. Even joked how much they’d hate it if they found out we were friends. I really believed it, you know? That wewerefriends. She had me convinced…” He pursed his lips. “Someone had to have given her pointers beforehand, that’s the only explanation I can think of. She always said all the right things, would appear in all the right places…” Like that day she’d walked in on him arguing with his mom.

Now that he could look at it from a different perspective, it made no sense for Iris to have been there when she was. He’dbeen fighting with Sayda by the gym, a part of campus Iris was typically never even near.

“I really liked her.” It was hard to say, but he forced himself to admit it. “I haven’t been able to make any real friends, not since I was a child. Everyone who approaches me either wants to fuck me or use me for my name. Iris acted like she was different. She never asked me for anything, even rejected a couple of offers when she needed expensive new art supplies for class she couldn’t afford. That’s why when I found out the two of you were related and that you’d lied to me about it…”

He'd lost his mind. It’d felt like the rug was being ripped out from underneath him all over again, only this time, he could do something about it. The whole time he’d interrogated Iris, he’d been unable to bring himself to physically harm her, despite how she’d almost killed West.

A part of him had always felt guilty about that. Like he’d failed his best friend somehow. Like he hadn’t been loyal enough to hurt the person who’d tried to murder him.

“I was terrified it was happening again,” he told Nix. “That you were using me, us, and you were going to try and—”

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