Page 88 of Martyr

West wasn’t the best at putting himself in other people's shoes, mostly because it wasn’t something he even bothered attempting on a daily basis. There were obvious triggers, sure, like being tied to a family member and judged for it, but typically, he was too self-absorbed to notice those around him struggling.

How often had Nix bitten his tongue to keep from saying something potentially displeasing to one of them? He was always so vocal and forward that West had just assumed he was comfortable speaking his mind, no matter the consequences.

He should have known that wasn’t the case. A clever, adaptable person like Nix survived by having strong instincts and an ability to read the room.

Downstairs, West had accused Yejun of taking advantage of Nix, automatically assuming Nixie had settled for the best of what he deemed two possible punishments. If he’d been keeping this secret close to his chest, a part of him must have been afraid all this time.

“You’ve been using me as a shield for weeks,” he said, shaking his head when Nix tensed. “I’m not upset about it, I just want you to know that I know.” That explained why he’d forced himself to get more comfortable around West. Why he’d walked into his bedroom that night fully knowing where it would lead.

Nix had just been accosted by Lake’s teeth, discovered he had a secret that could turn Yejun against him, and had no one else to rely on. His last resort had been to seduce West.

“Keep doing it,” West told him, lifting Nix out of the tub with ease. He set the other man on his feet just outside of it so he could climb out himself and then reached for a thick coffee-colored towel.

“Why would you say that?” Nix asked. He didn’t pull away when West began to dry him off, standing still and even lifting his arms and parting his stance when the towel swept over those parts of him. Almost as if he trusted him.

Another survival tactic? Placate West to keep himself safe?

“You don’t have to be timid or cautious with me, babe,” West said. “I like who you are, always have.”

“The last time you got mad at me, you almost choked me to death,” Nix reminded, but his tone lightened very so slightly.

“Still going to pretend like you didn’t enjoy it?” West teased, laughing when his cheeks turned pink and Nix glanced away with a huff. “Turns out, I like taking care of you. I like the feeling of having someone who needs me. I even like that out of the three of us, I’m the one you chose for the task, even if you didn’t exactly have a choice.”

He reached for Nix, but the other man held up a hand. “I can walk now.”

West hesitated but then nodded, linking their fingers instead. He led him back into the bedroom and over to the bed. “Are you cold already?”

“Not yet.”

“Good. Lay down on your stomach.” He opened the first aid kit he’d left on the end table while Nix slowly did as he was told, then quickly stripped out of his soaked clothes. “Relax. I’m just doing what I promised and applying ointment. We aren’t doing anything sexual tonight, Nixie.”

“Why not?” Nix rested his cheek against the pillow, face turned in his direction.

“That an invitation?” He chuckled when Nix merely stared at him blankly. “I told you not to do that.”

“Do what?”

“Treat me like some predator you need to be wary of.”

“But you are, and I do.”

West moved onto the bed with the sun cream and unscrewed the top. “Do you remember that conversation we had here a few weeks ago?”

“We’ve talked a lot in here,” Nix pointed out.

“You told me you weren’t a fan of pain.” West squeezed a large amount of sun cream on the tip of his pointer finger and rested a hand on the back of Nix’s left thigh.

Nix spread them before having to be asked, seemingly unconcerned about the potential for pain or discomfort. He wasn’t shaking or nervous, not like that first time West had touched him in this bed.

“I’ll try my best to be gentle,” West said anyway. “Let me know if it stings.”

He started slow, circling the tip of his finger around Nix’s puffy rim to work the cream in there first.

“Do you need help?” Nix asked, and before West could reply, he reached back and parted his cheeks for him, exposing his private areas more openly.

“Are you really all right with doing this, or are you faking it?” he couldn’t help but wonder.

“Does it matter?”

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