Page 66 of Martyr

“I couldn’t forgive myself if I just stood by and watched them ruin another good person.”

“Your brother?”

“No.” He ran a hand through his hair. “A friend. An old friend. Cyprian used to be one of us,” his voice turned dark. “Until he wasn’t. That’s the type of people they are, Nix.They’re loyal, but only to each other. It doesn’t matter who you are outside of their bubble—the Club, the Order, hell, even the Emperor, they don’t care.”

“Is this the same person that Grady knew?” Was this why he hated the Demons so much as well?

“Grady didn’t grow up in Essential, but he and I became close in high school. Cyprian and I both really liked hanging out with him, and the two of them grew close. He took it hard when he disappeared.”

“Disappeared?” Nix sucked in a sharp breath, but Juri immediately reassured him.

“No, no, he’s not dead or anything. He just…left. He’s no longer on planet and no one can find him.” He held his gaze. “They’ll turn on you too, eventually.”

“Maybe.”

“How can you sound so calm?”

“I haven’t been calm in months,” he corrected. “But panicking isn’t going to get me anywhere. The only chance I have of surviving is finding ways to keep my head above water. That’s it.”

“I could help you run—”

“No, thanks.”

Juri gave him a perplexed look.

“I don’t need you to understand,” Nix said. “I appreciate that you’re trying to help though. That means a lot. We’ve only spoken a handful of times in the past.”

“You seemed scared last week,” he shrugged. “Most people are when they encounter one of the Demons, let alone all three. I didn’t want to be cowardly. Talking about them behind their backs with my friends is fine and all, but if I’m unwilling to do something when I see it happen? How does that make me any better than they are?”

Juri hadn’t wanted to be a Demon after his older brother’s terrible experience, but Nix hadn’t known about the rest of it.

“How were they able to strip you of your Club membership?” he asked. “Aren’t they technically not ranked high enough yet to have that sort of control?” Wasn’t that what this whole ceremony was meant to be for? And why they were jumping through hoops trying to beat this test by finding the threat to Essential?

“Technically, they didn’t,” Juri stated. “I left on my own.”

“You can do that?” He thought of West’s explanation of the sacrifice and what being a member of the club would have meant for Nix personally. How the claiming bite had changed things for him, potentially for the worse.

If Nix would have had the choice to leave Essential, to turn away from it after being let in, then West was right in more ways than one.

He could have left.

Now he wasn’t going anywhere.

At least, not anywhere Lake didn’t take him.

“Fuck, this so messed up.” He rubbed at his temples.

“What?” Juri frowned.

“My life.”

“Are you…” He couldn’t seem to decide whether or not to continue, shifting awkwardly on his feet before finally blurting, “Are you confused?”

Nix rested back against the thick trunk of the tree.

“It’s just, you’re right, I was there and I can’t deny you clearly…enjoyed it,” Juri continued when he didn’t reply. “But sex is one thing. Liking them enough to want to be with them is another.”

“You’re forgetting this.” He tugged on his collar, exposing the bite mark that was already mostly scar tissue and mild irritation.

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