Page 81 of Ravage

And it's all my fault.

I never make mistakes like that. I didn't stop and fully consider the consequences—I was determined to bring Avery back. And it sickens me that part of that reason was to continue tormenting her and having her under my control.

It all leads back to those gray eyes that are still staring at me with way too much emotion. I don't deserve it.

I don't deserve her.

"Damon…" she repeats, voice breaking slightly.

I cup her face in my hands, pulling back slightly to look at her. She relaxes in my grip, the guilt eating at me even more.

"It's fine," I mutter. "You're okay."

She frowns, clearly puzzled by my words. I want to reassure her, but the words get stuck on the tip of my tongue. I know I need to tell everyone about what happened, especially Grey, but a part of me is afraid. What if I tell her and she never looks at me like this again? I want to savor the moment for as long as possible before I'm the big, bad monster again.

"What happened?" she asks softly, resting her hands over mine on her face.

"My father happened," I hiss quietly, as if the familial tie is poison. "I fucked up."

Avery tilts her head slightly, her right cheek pushing into my hand. "What do you mean?"

I sigh, closing my eyes. "He's going to get access to the funds. Once he does, there's nothing to stop them from coming at us again."

"We knew this was a possibility," she defends. "We will sort it out."

Shaking my head, I open my eyes, letting her see how serious this is. "He is only able to do this because I gave him the power to do so."

I relax my hands on her face, giving her the opportunity to move away if she wants. She doesn't—her hands squeezing mine, holding them in place.

"Power?"

"The deal I cut with him for your return," I tell her, unable to stop the anger in my tone. "I gave him a percentage of my shares in Lilydale. It wasn't much—but enough to give him the ability to pull stunts like this."

Avery lets go of my hands as I anticipated, and I ignore the pain in my chest. I knew she'd see me for the mess I am eventually.

But her hands are suddenly onmycheeks, forcing me to face her.

"You did the best you could in a bad situation. We couldn't have anticipated that they would do this—you saved me. Both times, actually. And that counts for something."

Oh, my little innocent lamb.

If only you realized.

Leaving her hands on my face, I grab her waist, running my palms down the curve of her body. She shivers underneath my touch, sending an electric shock straight to my cock.

She's so soft and warm, and despite wanting to disagree with her, I simply fall victim to my selfish needs again. I kiss her, this time more slowly but with the same heat and intensity as before.

It's the least I can do. I can't turn back time, I can't change what I did. But I can change this. I can stop shoving her away to prove something to myself.

My strength is fading fast, and for once, I just want to forget—to give into the all-consuming thoughts that revolve around her.

I don't know what's going to happen. And I'm fucked beyond reason because I can't control the outcome. But I can control this at least.

We match energy, tongues dancing, and when I slow mine, dragging it teasingly along hers, she moans, hips jerking into me.

And fucking hell she feels good.

My hand skates along her thigh, caressing the inside of her leg until I reach the center of her shorts. Slipping inside the loose material past her thighs, my fingers brush against her underwear. When I feel her arousal starting to seep through the fabric, something snaps.