"It's good that you are feeling something," he replies warmly. "And I think it speaks volume that it's about someone you care for."
"Didn't we establish that I have little self-confidence and that I shouldn't rely on other people?" I sigh, feeling argumentative for no reason other than the fact it's Dr. Smith.
"For validation," he chimes in. "But you also came to Lilydale with the struggle to open up to people. You were worried about people leaving, thus being closed off and withdrawn. It's wonderful to see you have developed multiple relationships."
Multiple relationships?
Fuck. Does he know?
We don't hide it by any means, but still… I'm not sure how I feel about it being brought up in session.
I must be silent for too long because he speaks up, clarifying. "Multipleconnections."
"Right," I mutter, suddenly wishing the floor would open up and swallow me whole. "Good to know I'm succeeding in some way. Not a total failure then."
"Would you prefer to talk about the cameras?" he offers. "Or the cells. I'm sure you have questions."
A dry laugh finds its way out as I slouch back into the chair. "I have many, but if I absorb any more information from you, I might implode. Especially after the last session."
He nods. "That's a fair point. It must be confusing for you."
"That's one way to put it. You make it hard to trust you."
A frown stares back at me. "How so?" he asks.
I tilt my head to the side, gazing at him in exasperation. "What side are you batting for? Because you're a member of staff here, yet you seem to silently beg for me to trust you. I can't trust any of the staff here. I got hurt under your watch, and it's clear you and Damon have a hostile familial relationship, but suddenly you want to help us? It doesn't add up."
He leans back, seemingly letting my words sink in. We have a strange relationship too—always pushing and pulling, tethering on the borderline of professional and non-professional. This session is no different, but after having Damon here, it doesn't leave a sour taste in my mouth like it normally would.
"I'm not sure how much you know about our family," he starts. "But wearing a mask was always a requirement."
"So, who are you then?" I question. "Which mask is your real face?"
"Truthfully, both of them. Idocare about my position here, and yes, Damon and I have a hostile relationship. But that doesn't mean I'm on Alexander's side."
This voice sounds pained, and it takes me a moment to realize he lost someone too. Lily was his aunt. Maybe he's chained to this place too—just with different colored shackles.
I wouldn't put it past Alexander to blackmail multiple people—multiple family members. He seems the type who would step on anyone to rise to the top.
"Why are you here?" I shoot back. "Working in Lilydale? If you have an Ivy League degree, surely you could have gotten a job anywhere."
Dr. Smith smiles—but it's not the warm, friendly one I'm used to. It's riddled with sadness and secrets, a pain I recognize well.
"Let's just say that Alexander has dirt on my immediate family. At the time, it didn't seem like a terrible idea. He wanted me to keep an eye on Damon, help out with certain tasks. But once he realized I wouldn't go as far as he wanted—"
"He hired Elsher," I finish. "He's a piece of shit."
He doesn't say anything, but his agreement reflects back at me in his eyes.
"There are certainly some lines I won't cross," he says. "Not everyone shares that sentiment."
As my eyes drift over to the cabinet, I feel a tightness in my chest. "Were you trying to protect me from Damon at the start?"
"Yes," he answers without hesitation. "But once I realized you didn't need protecting from him, I stopped. It became obvious that he and his friends cared for you—just in their own way."
I snort, amused. "They certainly had a funny way of showing it."
"We all wear our masks well," he replies. "It just takes time to figure out which face is the real one."