Page 57 of Ravage

If there is something there between them, neither of them will act upon it now—or ever. Damon will shut down any emotion that he perceives as weakness, entering a state of tunnel vision to focus on the task at hand. While he's not one to listen tothreats, I know he respects me enough that he won't touch Avery again because I told him not to. And Avery… she'll be stuck in a carousel of people pleasing tendencies, afraid to lose me.

And that's not a good enough reason anymore.

She's not going to lose me.

But it will always be in the back of her mind that I could abandon her—like I did before.

Regardless of her feelings toward Damon, she won't accept them fully until I do. She needs a push… well, a fucking shove, to take the step. It can't come from Theo—he's already open about our dynamic that it doesn't hold as much personal weight as my opinion.

She'd listen to him, agreeing and feeling relief that her emotions are validated. Knowing she's not a bad person will always comfort that mentality she has for herself. But it still won't be enough.

I'm holding her back.

And for what? So I can prove that I'm not like my fucking father. To inflict my trauma onto the person I love? That's no way to live, and Avery doesn't deserve that burden. She's always so focused on wanting to fix people, as if she's trying to prove that if she can do it, then she's fixable too.

She's not fucking broken.

Avery is perfect the way she is.

Then there's Damon. My unhinged best friend who has the most to lose. Yet, he doesn't focus on that—he puts everyone else first. People may not believe it, but he's a protector in his own ways.

At the end of the day, he deserves better too.

My life improved tenfold when Avery came into it. She's the light in my darkness, healing the ugly parts of me that I learned to accept. The only other person who ever accepted me just the way I am… is Damon.

I'm doing both of them a disservice by standing in the way. I think it was just a shock. No one could have predicted that they would get under each other's skin in this way. It was just assumed that they might kill each other.

The library door swings open and the three of us snap our attention to Theo as he stalks in casually. Hands wedged in his pockets, he looks completely at ease as he approaches.

As if on instinct, I find myself turning my attention to Avery. You know when you go to a wedding and the music starts, and all the guests turn to look at the bride? I was the weird teenager who used to watch the groom. That was one of the truest and most underrated displays of emotion. To be fair, it was only two weddings—both distant cousins on my mother's side who got married seven months apart. But I loved the idea of studying that level of body language—the pure, untainted raw emotion.

On cue, Avery's face lights up—not just her sweet lips, tilting up into a huge smile, but her eyes too. The gray sparkles as she soaks in Theo's presence, body relaxing as that sense of safety wraps around her.

"You're late," Damon growls.

Theo shrugs. "You'll survive. I doubt I missed much."

I cover a laugh with my hand as Damon reaches into his pocket, flinging a cell at him. Theo catches it easily, turning it over in between his fingers.

"A cell?"

"Obviously," Damon scoffs. "We need to be able to communicate at all times. The other numbers are pre-saved into the contact list. I've also saved our three numbers to speed dial. Avery is on one, me on two, and Grey on three."

Theo nods, shoving the cell into his pocket. "Have you told her yet?" he asks, giving Avery a smile.

A wave of confusion crosses her face. "Told me what?"

"No, I haven't," Damon answers. "You can do the honors."

Avery stiffens beside me, attention on Theo. "What is it?"

Without breaking eye contact with her, he smiles, trying to put her at ease before he drops the bombshell. "I went for a walk downstairs—to the lab."

"You what?" Avery yelps. "When?"

"Yesterday," Theo replies casually. "We needed to see if there was any evidence left behind. It looks like they have taken it all."

Avery narrows her eyes at him. "That was a really stupid thing to do. What if anyone had seen you?"