Page 45 of Ravage

I know he knows more than he's letting on. He's closing down too, focusing too much on the task at hand. But I also have seen the way he looks at her when he thinks we're not paying attention.

It's unsettling.

Despite wanting to be the one she turns to and confides in, I understand they both need this. I want to be the one to keep her safe, but what if I'm not there? She needs someone else. Three people are better than two, right?

Sometimes safety doesn't come in the form of knives and fist knuckles. It's about knowing that her vulnerability is protected, her weakness not exploited when she's drowning in her own emotions.

If I can trust Theo with that, then surely I can be open to the possibility of trusting the one person who has always had my back in here.

Even though I wanted to punch him, Theo voiced the same as well. He can see it too—the tension between Damon and Avery. But that motherfucker doesn't have an ounce of jealousy in his psychopathic body, telling me to get over myself, and let things run their course.

"It will break her if she has to fight it. She'll disappear before us—ceasing to exist—if you make her believe she's not allowed to love someone."

And I fucking hate that he's right. All she's ever wanted is to be loved. Imagine if I stop that—take that away from her. It will reinstate every fucked-up thing she's ever believed about herself that we've worked hard to erase.

"You can ask me, you know," Avery murmurs, ripping me out of my thoughts.

The library comes back into view, and I register that I've zoned out, my demons pulling me under again.

But I'm stronger than them now.

"Ask you about what?" I ask, giving her a warm smile so as to not alarm her.

Avery puts her hands on my chest, peering up at me with her big doe-eyes. She's trying to calmmedown.

"About what happened in the labs."

It's the first time since her return that she's willingly offered to talk about it, not avoiding the conversation that we all wanted to have. My smile drops, a serious expression taking its place.

"Only if you want to talk about it," I offer.

Her fingers dig into my chest slightly, eyes shaking as she recalls the events that linger behind them. But as quickly as it comes, it vanishes again.

"I know about Leah," she starts, a stabbing pain hitting me on the other side of her hand as my chest tightens. Out of everything, that's her beginning point.

Not her own pain, what they did to her.

But my ex-girlfriend.

I nod once. "I know," I mumble, not bothering to hide the fact that Damon has briefed me on the situation. As much as I want to trust them, and I don't want to break the trust developing betweenthem, it would be an insult to pretend that I don't know. Avery knows that Damon tells me things—it's who we are. It's what keeps the society running.

Avery's eyes fall to her hands, avoiding my gaze. "I'm sorry for what happened to her," she murmurs quietly.

My brows furrow as I frown, immediately grabbing her wrists and holding her firmly to me. "Whatever you are thinking—stop.Don't start comparing yourself to something that happened in the past. We're here now, and that's all that matters."

"There's cameras in here," she says monotonously. I'm confused by her statement—I know there's cameras everywhere but unsure why she's veering off the subject.

Before I can speak again, she's elaborating, her tone giving the sense that she's not present.

"They filmed you. They have personal footage. Nothing is kept private."

They have footage of me and Leah.

I suspected as much when Damon told me, but seeing her reaction only makes it more real. If someone forced me to watch a video of Avery fucking someone else, I wouldn't stop until they were all dead, mangled into tiny little pieces for the kitchen to feed to the surviving staff.

The irony isn't lost on me.

Without realizing, I squeeze her wrists tightly so that she doesn't pull away. "Avery, look at me," I demand, watching as she instantly tilts her head back to meet my gaze. I try to findsomethingin her eyes, but it's empty—a closed wall. "I can't change the past. We all have a history. But Leah isn't someone you need to compete with. Even if she wasn't dead, there'd still be no competition. You're the one I love.You're enough."

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