Page 38 of Ravage

"I have no fucking idea what he has to say," he answers, breaking his professional persona. "I've been cut out of all intel between him and Arthur, thanks to my involvement in trying toprotectAvery."

Theo looks at me briefly, piecing things together silently. I've filled him in as much as possible lately, but even as an outsider, he saw firsthand the mess the whole situation created with Avery's arrest. All he knows is what Christopher told us the day she was taken—he was the one who framed her with the access card. While he can pretend to be a good Samaritan, the truth is he drove them to Avery. Between her involvement withCirque des Mortsand Christopher's meddling, it made her an even bigger target.

At least we tried to protect her. He blemished her record with an arrest, forcing even more trauma on her innocent self. Forsomeone masquerading around as a professional, he made sure to fuck her up in all the wrong ways.

What was the end game here? Because if Avery was out of the picture, Alexander and Arthur would keep coming. Was Christopher going to meddle andprotectall one hundred patients?

Probably fucking not.

"You did more harm than good," Theo tells him, echoing my thoughts. "You sent her down into a spiral, isolating her from the only people who care about her."

I stiffen slightly at his words. I agree, but the cold reminder of how I treated her after the arrest still pains me with guilt. It's not my proudest moment—I was hurt, trying to figure out why I wasn't enough for her. Even though I was mad, I was still trying to protect her from afar. I followed her every moment, making sure she was safe. I convinced Damon not to unleash his fury on her, agreeing to keep her close for the sake of our goal. But it was obvious it was for my benefit too—having her nearby, as agonizing as it was, made me feel better.

I was always going to protect her, even if I couldn't have her. But now that she is mine, the desire and need to keep her safe is greater than anything else I've ever experienced.

It also makes me recognize that how I felt about Leah was only a fraction of what I do for Avery.

I cared about Leah. I was obsessed with her—but that's all it seemed to be.

Obsession.

But my obsession with Avery knows no bounds. I was never ready to turn my back on Damon for Leah. I never considered burning my whole life down—until I met Avery.

It took ages to realize that I wasn't just obsessed with Avery. No, it was far more intense than that. It was love.

Love was not an emotion I was familiar with. It was never given and it was never something I could earn. All I knew about love was what was portrayed in fiction. It seemed sickening—full of flowers and sweetness, the need to be a certain type of person when it came to love. So, I resigned myself to the fact I wasn't capable of love because I am none of those things.

But Avery made me realize that love is more than pink hearts and romance. It's aggressive, violent—a danger. It can be all-consuming, obsessive, making every single personality trait and emotion appear.

Good and bad.

And she never once made me feel like I wasn't worthy of love. Avery loves every side of me—never shying away from the darkness that lies within me.

Most people want to tame their darkness. Not me.

I would change for her if I had to. But I don't—because she accepts all of me.

She's watched me murder people in cold blood, laid hands on anyone who dared to wrong her. Most people would be scared, terrified of what I'm capable of.

But not Avery.

And that… is love. Or at least, our fucked-up version of it.

"Avery doesn't deserve to be here," Christopher says, for once saying something I agree with.

"No, she doesn't," I answer in a low tone. "But that doesn't give you the right to meddle in our business. We had it under control. You might think you're better than us, Christopher. But your Ivy League degree, money, and expensive suits don't mean you're ready to play with the big boys. Power is not something you can just pretend to have. It's built from the ground up. You'll never be on Damon's level and the faster you accept that, the quicker we can move on."

I wait for some snarky remark but it doesn't come. Instead, he nods slowly, deep in thought.

"What is it that you need from me?" he asks, exasperated. "Because I don't have answers for you, Grey. Despite your obvious hatred for me, I'm not in bed with Alexander. I had nothing to do with Avery's kidnapping nor do I hold any decision-making power within Lilydale."

Finally, I sit down across from him, resting my ankle over my knee. "I need you to find out what happened that day. She was drugged in Markel's office. We questioned the old bastard, but he is practically senile. Short of ripping his jugular out, I don't think he had a hand in it."

The interrogation this morning went nowhere. Markel was too focused on Avery, singing stupid songs, and acting oblivious. Either he's worthy of an Oscar, or he knows nothing. Theo and I both agree that it's unlikely he was the one who switched her drugs. Someone took advantage of his less than adequate setup to instigate this. I nearly killed him for being so trusting and stupid. It was only his genuine concern for Avery's wellbeing that saved him from an untimely death.

"I can try," Christopher grumbles. "But most of the professional staff are in Arthur's pocket. He pays them well so I doubt any of them will talk."

"Try is not good enough. Someone is going down for this and if I don't have a specific name, I'll just take them all down one-by-one."

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