Page 35 of Ravage

Damon laughs dryly. "If monsters were the equivalent of animals, you'd be a sheep."

I feel the muscle in my jaw twitch, remembering how he called me a docile sheep when I first arrived. There's a sparkle in his eye that tells me he recalls it too.

"You'd be a donkey because you're an ass."

Standing up, he towers over me, gazing down with a crooked smile. "Careful, Avery," he warns, but there's a playful edge to his tone.

I'm not afraid, putting my hand on my hip as I hold our close proximity.

"You don't scare me anymore," I admit to him. "I've met the real monsters and survived. But also…" I pause, choosing my next words carefully. "I don't think you're a monster at all."

"That's a dangerous mistake to make."

Is it?

My heart beats a little faster. I don't know where I'm going with this conversation or why. Warning alarms ring in my head, telling me to run. It feels wrong.

But right at the same time.

Ultimately, I take a tiny step back, thinking of Grey. He was so angry when I told him about the kiss. Right now, we need to be strong. We can't risk losing sight of things by causing rifts in the group. But despite that, a part of me is still drawn to Damon.

I swallow those feelings, relaxing my posture. "Is there anything else I should know?"

Damon leans back against the table, crossing his arms. "Unfortunately, you found out the hard way about all of this. It's been happening for a while now, but Leah's death was the last time they tried to conduct theirresearch."

Leah… there's that name again. It stings just as much as before, but I'm also mad at myself for feeling anger and jealousy about a dead girl.

"Did they do the same to her?" I ask quietly.

"Yes. We tried to save her but we were too late. We weren't prepared and neither were they. She got caught up in the ambush, an experiment gone wrong—or so they say."

Leaning on the table next to him, I let out a sigh. "I can see it. I honestly believed I was going to die down there."

Damon turns his head to the side, looking over his shoulder at me. "I was wrong about you. And that worries me."

I crack a smile, eyes focusing on the bookshelves ahead. "Damon worried? Maybe I did die, and hell has frozen over."

"I'm serious, Avery," he replies sternly. "You're handling all of thistoowell."

Glancing at him, I try to joke to break the tension. "First, you told me to handle and control my emotions. Now, I'm doing it too well?"

"This is different," he answers. "Controlling yourself is one thing but to completely dismiss what you went through is another. You need to take some time to deal with what happened. Otherwise it will eat you alive."

"I'm f—"

"If you tell me you're fine, I'm going to bend you over the table and smack your ass right here."

No sooner have the words left his mouth does he shut his lips tightly, realizing what he's said out loud with an annoyed look on his face. I just laugh softly, shaking my head.

"It's just… what I do," I admit sadly. "Maybe that's why I was so bad at it, because I kept everything in. I didn't have a choice."

"You have a choice now."

"I know," I murmur. "But I'm scared to admit what happened in case I lose it completely. What if holding myself together is theonly choice we have? I can't fall to pieces right now—we can't be weak when Whittingham and the guards are lurking around. It's not just my life on the line here, it's everyone's."

Damon just stares at me in silence, making me question if I've said the wrong thing. I thought for sure it would be what he wanted to hear. After all, he's the prime example of not showing emotion.

"Avery," he says finally. "You're not weak. It's okay to fall apart if you need it. Just as long as you can put the pieces back together. Grey and Ashwood will help with that."

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