Page 33 of Crimson Bond

“What? Reece, you had nothing to do with—”

“Just shut up and listen to me, okay? Please?”

The sounds of my labored breaths mixed with her shallow ones.

“After I left my hometown, I went looking for you,” I said. “I tracked you from the accident scene back to your village. Then I followed your scent to the farm.”

“You were there?”

I nodded, though it was doubtful she could see me. Her hand was still in mine, but it had gone slack.

“I was desperate to find you, and I kind of hoped I wouldn’t, too. I wasn’t sure what would happen if I did see you again—I thought you were still human at the time,” I explained.

“I still hadn’t tried animal blood at that point, and my thirst never seemed to cease. It felt sort of tangled up with the last emotion I’d been feeling as a human—extreme desire—for you.”

Abbi let out a quiet gasp, but she didn’t speak, just let me continue damning myself.

“I went to the barn, stood there looking up. I could hear you breathing, hear your heartbeat. I hadn’t decided yet whether to go up and talk to you—I was afraid I might hurt you—and then a wagon pulled into the drive. Your friend Josiah was in it with an older couple. I ran and hid behind the house.”

“That was the night they died,” she said in a reverent tone.

“That’s right.”And don’t I know it.

“I don’t remember everything about that night, but I remember watching and listening as you climbed the tree and went into his room. And then you left. I knew from eavesdropping on your conversation you had both been turned. I could tell he wasn’t going to make it in this life. Even as small and innocent as you were, you were much stronger than him. You had this... determination. I decided I would reveal myself to you when you returned from town.”

“Why didn’t you Reece? Why did you leave? We could have gone through this together. We could have helped each other. We could have avoided the Bastion altogether.”

Squeezing her hand, I urged her to sit back on her bed. “Just let me finish. After you left, I sat on the ground against the house, listening to the whispers inside, the everyday noises of people getting ready for bed. Josiah’s parents were kind, they were worried about him—and about what their friends and neighbors would think—but mostly they were worried about him. In spite of my burning throat and the aching emptiness of my stomach, I felt good listening to them, knowing there were at least some people in the world who’d try to understand and accept us.”

I swallowed hard. This was the hardest part of the story to recall, much less say out loud. But Abbi needed to hear it. She needed to know.

“Then I caught the scent of blood. I don’t know if the man cut himself shaving or maybe the woman slipped with a kitchen knife... that’s where my memories end. I must have gone into a blood frenzy and killed them. Maybe I killed Josiah, too.”

She came off the bed again and grabbed my hands. “You couldn’t have. I saw his ashes the next morning. He killed himself by exposing himself to the sun. And if you were in a frenzy, how can you be sure you’re the one who killed his parents?”

Removing my hands from her grasp, I clenched my gut against a swell of nausea. “Based on my previous behavior, that’s what I would have done. What makes more sense? Your little upstanding Amish boyfriend getting up from his prayers, unlocking his door, and going downstairs to slaughter his parents or me smelling blood and doing what I’d already done multiple times in the days leading up to that? Besides, that’s what Imogen said happened. She told me on the night of the Inception Ceremony.”

It was the information that had tipped me over the edge and driven the last nail in the coffin of my humanity.

It was the information that had proven to me once and for all that Abbi was better off without me.

How could I have gone with her to Los Angeles and presented myself as one of the good guys, ready to fight for peace, justice, and the American vampire way, knowing what I’d done?

“Imogen?” Abbi said, sounding baffled. “She wasn’t there. How would she know what happened?”

“Sheknew, okay? She’s our maker. She laid it out for me in gory detail, described the farm, what they looked like, everything. She knew where to find you, didn’t she? She sent Kannon after you.”

Abbi was quiet for a minute before speaking again. “And this is what you’ve been hiding from me? This is the ‘terrible secret’ that made you feel so unworthy of love you enslaved yourself for an eternity.”

“Yes. I’m the reason you lost your best friend, your community, your whole way of life.”

“You’re an idiot.”

My head snapped back in surprise. “What?”

“You’re an idiot if you really believed that would keep me from loving you.”

“I murdered the people you considered your second parents. Josiahkilledhimself because of me. And you blamed yourself for it.”

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