“Your scars don’t bother me. Just relax.” I turn it on high, and Jamie’s eyes flutter close. While we wait for the heat to come on, I lie down next to him. “Better?”
Shoulders sinking, Jamie looks at me and nods. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” I reach down and grab my blanket, pulling it up over us. “This is the greatest fox ever created! Everyone must see it. I don’t think I can ever wear a shirt again.”
“The horror.” His sleepy voice sounds too cute, and his eyesgrow heavy, just like I wanted.
“It’s beautiful.” Lying down, I roll to my side, watching him. Carefully, I reach out, touching his face and smoothing my thumb along his temple. I can’t help but watch him soften with sleep. “Why a fox?”
One sleepy eye peeks open before shutting again. “I love foxes. They’re my favorite animal.” His voice is groggy, and I think he’s fallen asleep until he says after a minute, “They’re independent. They’re playful and mischievous and beautiful.” Eyes opening, Jamie looks at me. “Just like you.”
Words are lost to me, so I say nothing, and after a moment his breath evens out and softens
Moving a little closer, I adjust the pad, before laying my hand on his lower back. I freeze at the scars. Just like the front, they’re thick and ridged. As I slip my hand out, he moves closer, out cold now and snoring softly.
I throw an arm over him, and Jamie stirs but doesn’t move away when I shift closer inside his arms. I hold him against my smaller body, my own eyes closing softly. So comfortable.
It’s peace, and I feel Jamie could use a little of that.
Seventeen
Jamie
“Cici!” It’s impossible to move my fingers, my arms, my legs. “Cici?” She stares, unblinking. She’s not breathing. “Help’s coming.” I don’t know if that’s true. I don’t know anything. I barely understand what’s happening.
I look ahead, instantly wishing I hadn’t.
Everyone’s broken.
I can’t feel anything, so maybe I’m gone too. Maybe we all are. “Luci.”
She only stares.
“No, no, Lu, no.”
“Jamie.”
“Yes. Luci, it’s me, it’s, it’s—” I hear the words, but I don’t feel myself move. “Cici.”
“Jamie.”Inhaling, I can’t breathe. Nothing is working. My body. My friend, we—“Jamie.”She’s not moving. What—“Jamie!”
“What.” My heart hammers against my ribs. Clutching my chest I look down. “What the fuck?”
“Hey. Hey.” My brain scrambles. What’s happening. “You’re okay. You’re alright. Just a dream. Well, maybe not dream but—”
“What the fuck are you doing?”
Noah’s face pinches and I curse at myself. “Do you know where you are?”
“Why the fuck am I shirtless?”
“Hey.” Noah cups my face. I try to flinch, but he forces me to relax in his hands. I try. “Breathe, okay. Come on.” He inhales, taking a breath, waiting for me to copy. So I do. “That’s it. Breathe.”
We breathe again and my brain starts to boot up, my heart calming with each deep breath. “What—”
“I think you had a nightmare. You fell asleep using my heating pad, remember?” In bed. Wait, Noah. Last night he took my shirt off. The markers.
“The fox.”