Page 134 of Splintered Hearts

“So really, what’s going on? What’s the reason for all this right now?”

“I’m not telling you. You’ll make fun of me.”

“Hey.” Xavi pulls the car over on the dirt road. “Jamie, take a minute. Look at where we are. This is huge. I don’t give a shit what the reason is. I’m just so fucking happy you’re doing it.”

Guilt surges through me. No matter what, Xavi and Bri are always there for me. Even when they shouldn’t be. Even when my bad decisions cost us all something so fucking precious. We can never get it back, and it’s all my fucking fault.

Yet here they are. Always. Standing beside me. “Thank you, guys,” I whisper, clearing my throat. “I can never say sorry or thank either of you enough.”

Bri unbuckles, sitting up between our seats. “Hey.” Grabbing my hand, she squeezes. “This is amazing, and of course, we’re family.” I don’t miss the look that passes through Xavi’s eyes.Yeah, that’s a whole mess there. Not my business, though. “We’re proud of you.”

“So what’s going on?” Xavi asks.

“Noah got a car.” I can do this, just talk. “I guess I... well, when he goes out I...”

“Feel left out?”

I nod. It feels awful not joining him when I want to so bad. Even though I know on some level that Noah understands, I still feel like shit when I don’t go places with him. I know at some point I’ll have to tell Noah about the accident. No matter the consequences, he should know.

“Also, I’m going to ask Mom if... if I can use the lake house for the weekend.” Unable to meet either of their faces, I stare ahead. I’m not sure where we are or what backwoods road we’re on but I wonder, if I opened my door and fell out, how long it would take me to walk back.

“Holy shit, Jamie.” I close my eyes. I don’t want to make this a thing, but I know Mom will say something.

“I just want to take my boyfriend on a nice weekend, and I’m broke, so this is the best—”

“You don’t have to make an excuse,” Xavi says softly. “That’s big.”

I know that, but again, don’t want to make it a thing. “Here.” I hear jangling in the back seat before a key is thrust through the center. “Take my key.”

Slowly I turn, thanking her and adding it to mine. “I’m going to ask him tonight if he wants to go away.” There are things Noah needs to know, and I’m going to tell him everything this weekend. It isn’t just a lake house in a little tourist town upstate. It’s the place that changed my life forever. In so many ways. I want Noah to know every part of me, ugly or not.

I just hope he’ll stay with me after.”

Fuck, I’m nervous. Too nervous. I feel like an idiot. After Xavi and Bri dropped me off, Brianna helped me put this together, and well, put me together wearing dark jeans and a nice red button-up dress shirt. Candles sit in the middle of our table. Red petals litter the pathway from the front door to the kitchen and it’s taking every fiber of my being not to pick them up.

For Noah.

Soft music plays. The dinner is almost done, and my man is about to come home. Mine. It still feels so weird to say and think about. I have a boyfriend. The front door opens as I once-over the table. I hear a heavy bag drop and almost laugh at the amount of books that are probably in it. “Jamie?”

Walking out of the kitchen a smile instantly spreads across my face. “Hey.”

“What’s this?”

I hold out my hand, guiding him into the kitchen. “Well, I wanted to do something special.”

Noah frowns, looking around. “The candles, the petals, the music?” His brows pinch. “Are there flower petals on the bed?” I nod. “This... this is all so cheesy.”

“I know.”

“I fucking love it!” He claps his hands. “My super romantic, cliché boyfriend.” I grin wider, leaning down to kiss his soft lips.

“Play your cards right and we can slow dance under the moonlight after we eat.” His mouth drops open. “Then I’ll bring you inside, and fuck you real slow on top of all those rose petals.”

“Missionary, with a lot of intense eye contact.”

“Of course,” I laugh. “Come on, let’s eat.”

We have dinner, talking about his day and all the books my mother let him get for the library. I’m happy he’s happy there. He seems to love the job deeply. He talks about Mark and how he’s finally coming to terms with us—not that I care, but I have to admit it eases a little part of me. I know how important Markis to Noah, so I just want to end this thing between us. For both our partners. “Oh, and I found a new book series we can start after we finish the hockey one.”

---