Page 13 of Splintered Hearts

“It’s only a couple of people. It’s hardly a party.” Well, I have to disagree. More than justmemeans a party. Hunter drops down on the seat next to me, and some of the tension on his face from earlier seems to be gone. Maybe he made up with Mark.

Great.

“Are you alright?” Hunter’s eyes meet mine, and I see how tired he is. Something else is going on, but it isn’t my place. Hunter knows he can talk to me.

“I’m fine. Mark and I just got into a small fight earlier.”

“Again?” my dumbass brother says. Growing up, having a sibling seemed like a pipe dream. In some of the foster homes I’d been in I’d formed some bonds, but nothing like this. Xavier radiates younger-sibling energy and I would rather chop my nuts off than tell him how much he means to me. Growing up, I was so alone, and now, unfortunately, sometimes I’m surrounded by so many people.

“Don’t say it like that. We don’t fight that much.”

Xavier’s brown eyes meet mine.“Problemas en el paraíso?”He shrugs.

“Shut the fuck up,” Hunter growls. “You aren’t being subtle when the words are nearly the same in English, dumbass!”

Xavi laughs. “You know I’m messing around. You and Mark are solid. Whatever’s happening is trivial bullshit.” I have to agree with Xavi. Mark and Hunter have the kind of love that’s steady. One where you can plan shit and know the other person will be there.

“It’s just his friend.”

Xavi cocks a dark brow. “I’ll fuck him up.”

“The only thing you’ll be fucking up is an ankle, tripping over yourself to fight him.” I shake my head. My brother is the clumsiest fucker on the planet.

“Fuck you. I beat Mike Sawka in senior year. You saw it!”

“No. You got punched in the nose... cried... then Luci grabbed his dick and nearly ripped it clean off his fucking body.” Hunter and Xavi stare at me and it takes me a moment to realize why.

Her name.

Fuck, I said her name.

Something strange fills me. I didn’t even hesitate, I just... said it. I struggle to breathe as my vision goes a little hazy. “That’s right.” Hunter distracts me. “I remember, you cried like a little baby.”

“Fuck you both. Have you ever been hit in the nose? That shit hurts.” I laugh, some of the tension inside me easing. My brother’s a soft boy no matter how he tries to act.

I said her name.

Panic squeezes me, but I remind myself it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s alright. It’s something I’ve been working on in secret. I don’t want anyone to know how sick I am of living the way I have been.

Or should I say, not living.

For years, I let insomnia, depression, and PTSD ruin my life, and I’m so very tired. Taking these steps has been scary, so I’ve kept it private. I’m trying and that has to count for something.

I said her name.

A tiny smile twitches at the corners of my lips before Hunter’s hand cups my knee. “What?”

“Nothing.” I lose his hand as fast as I got it. Sometimes Hunter looks at me like he’s reading my inner thoughts. Fucking psychology majors.

“So, who’s coming? Bri, obviously.” Xavi asks

“Obviously,” Hunter and I say in unison.

“Who else?”

“Sawyer. He’s coming down.” Hunter adds.

“He can, with the bakery?” Xavi asks.

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